Shining like stars,
we're so beautiful.
Sometimes the world's against us for any reason she can think about. And no matter what we do, or no matter what we say, their perspectives will almost entirely remain the same. It's like it has become a custom for people to have disgust and disdain smacked right onto their faces when they look at you, or reveal that look of disbelief whenever word has come around that you have (finally) did something great. I kinda regret growing up, as it makes me meet fewer people who actually cares about you. The part about having fake friendships? Yeah that's included in the package of growing up. Sometimes I wish that I could have held on more to certain friendships, and not having to face awkward moments in the future when they try to catch up with you and you have absolutely nothing to share with them. It's like being in that moment when you both know that the friendship can no longer be renewed. I hate those moments, but I've been having a lot of them recently.
I feel really helpless sometimes. I've been talking about these friendship crap for ages and nothing I've done managed to prevent any of those bullshit from occuring. I wanna start the conversation sometimes, but I'll always get the feeling of disturbing or even irritating them whenever the thought of catching up comes to my mind. I don't want history to repeat again. But history has taught me to stop fighting. To stop fighting for friendship that I don't deserve. It taught me that if someone wishes to leave, there's no point asking him to stay. There's no point in holding on if the other side wants to let go.
I kinda like the state I'm in now. I don't have many friends, but I know who are my true ones. The ones who have stayed with me all these while. The ones who will continue to stay by my side no matter the decisions I'll be making. It feels kinda great, knowing that someone is able to write a thousand-word essay to describe how wonderful I am. I never knew that I was that much of a good friend. But now I know. And I've found another person who cares :).
We'll be shooting stars just passing by.
