It's been barely 2 months since the start of school and I've already had new perspectives of my life. From keeping up with my school-work to being a senior all over again. It's like, I think I've grown up way too fast during the course of the past two months. New perspectives, I've been taught to think from them. Thought that I will be better having them. But it turns out that I was wrong all along, and I don't know how I had become so blinded from the number of harsh facts piling right in front of me.
Maybe being too nice is a bad trait after all. You'll just end up getting abused and pushed around. It felt like I was a pushover. To think that I really sacrificed most of my time for you guys, just to get excluded like that. I was wrong, but I'll never be wrong again. All of you made me comfortable, but that was when you hit me with my guard down. Perhaps joining you guys was the best, and biggest, mistake that I've ever made in my entire life. I don't know what are the mistakes I've made, but it's time to move on. I'm really sick of pots calling the kettle black, especially when they're oblivious (or ignorant) about the flaws they have. It's funny how we seem to be together all the time, with all the segregation occurring every single time. Maybe it's just me against all of you, but I'm really tired of trying so hard to integrate myself back into the group. It really feels like watching a movie whenever I'm with all of you, with my presence being there when I'm actually not. I'm no longer part of your conversations, because I only hear about them after all of you have finished discussing the first three quarters of it. I don't understand anything that's been going on lately. Whenever I'm with you guys, I feel lonely. Like really lonely in the midst of all of you. There's nothing to talk about whenever we meet anymore, because you've been too used to my absence. To be honest, I really hate it when I talk and I don't get replies. It defeats the purpose of speaking out, up to the point where I don't really bother to talk in that chat anymore. I guess there's nothing I can do now to reintegrate myself back in. Maybe it's time to smile at the memories that we've made and call it a day.
There isn't one thing left you could say.
I'm sorry it's too late.
