And now I've changed.
And now I'm stronger.
And now I'm stronger.
Things have really changed quite a bit since the last time I've been here. Depressed? Not really, but I'm just really sad watching my results plunge to an all time low. I know that some others may find it really annoying for me to say this, but it's the sense of disappointment that overwhelms you when you know that you could've done better. I initially planned to make use of my results and try to get lucky with some of the advance placement programmes out there, but looking at my results now, I don't even stand a chance. Anyway, the results have spoken, and it's time for me to do something about it instead of being ignorant about what is wrong. What truly matters is that all of us get our desired grades for the upcoming A level examinations. And I really hope that I'll be able to do myself proud, after choosing to take this route when there are so many other options available. Man, with the exams coming in just 30 days, I'm really going to miss my school for everything that everyone has done for me. I've never imagined being in an environment where the people around you makes you feel happy every single day. Well yes, some friends may be superficial, but at least they have no intentions of harming/talking behind your back. Well, at least I can conclude now that NYJC is indeed one of the wisest decisions that I've made in my life so far.
Moving on, I've recently rekindled my love for esports. I know that this isn't exactly a good time for it to be drawn into the esports scene now, but it's just really interesting to watch and play. I even went all the way down to Singapore Expo to watch the group stages of the LoL championships 2014 and it was indeed a memorable experience. Despite being an audience member and only looking at the big kick-ass screen of how the games are progressing, I felt like the game really connected to me. Maybe that's the feeling that most football fanatics get when they watch their favourite teams play. It may seem boring to others (like me) but hey, at least they're enjoying themselves. I guess watching the matches 'live' really adds another dimension of the love I have for it, which many can't really understand unless they experience it themselves. Anyway, I even got a photo with Cloud 9, one of the most famous esports team in North America! To be honest, I wasn't really a huge fan-boy of that team before I watched the matches at the Expo, but man, they fought hard and earned my respect and awe for them. It may just seem like a game with little or zero strenuous activity, but it really requires a lot of brain activity in order to win the match. The shot-callings were truly impeccable and really amazing. There were really so many unforeseen swings in the matches that made the experience even more exciting to have.
Anyway, moving back to the point about Cloud 9, I was initially an all-out EU fan, but C9 has really made me admire them even more throughout their participation at worlds. Putting aside all the gameplay mechanics and strategies, I find their players really relate-able. Well, other than trying to learn how to play better, I usually follow what Hai says on social media. And more often than not, he writes about his thoughts of his life (being a pro-gamer) rather than the gameplay mechanics that he could have bragged about all day. And to be honest, I find his posts really inspiring and interesting to read because it's fascinating to know more about life as a professional gamer, instead of being stuck at home with books and deadlines to meet.
So yeah, to cut the long story short, I think Hai may become one of my idols in the esports scene because of his swag and composure. AND HE LOOKS QUITE GOOD FOR A GAMER YEAH? Not trying to be gay but, I wish I had 50 percent of his face.. And he was the one who made me realize that if you smile with your eyes closed, you should look much better in the photo, like how he does it in his photos! Anyway, I really hope for an opportunity to come by for me to interact with him and hopefully become friends as it'll be really cool to know these players at a more personal level! I know that this may seem a little far-fetched, but hey, a fan-boy can dream right? Hmm. Maybe I'll muster the courage to write on his tumblr and try to get to know him better and hopefully, we'll be friends!
Moving on, I've just realised that I'll be having a really sad birthday this year because it's smacked right in the middle of A levels.. Man, I won't be able to truly enjoy myself that day and it'll be too early or too late if I celebrate it on another day. Anyway, I just hope that I'll have a peace of mind on that day so that I can celebrate the end of a great year with myself the right way. But now, I should just stop thinking about it and press on for the upcoming examinations.
By the way, I know that some of us right there may feel a little down because of their results, but I really hope for all of us to press on and do the best we can right now. It may seem hard and insurmountable, but it is surely not impossible to overcome. Just have a bit more faith in yourselves, and I'm sure with a touch of discipline and luck, all of us will do fine for the upcoming 'A' levels.
Just a little faith and it'll all get better.
