Looking at it now,
it seemed so simple.
it seemed so simple.
It's definitely not the best feeling in the world to realize that the mistakes you've made during the entire week have cost you two distinctions, especially for a subject that you're good at. And the worse part is that you only realise your mistakes after you step out of the examination hall. I've prepared, but was it enough? Maybe it's the anxiety that keeps bugging me every single time but, I need to find a way to deal with it.
Well, what's past is past I guess. I've really done what I possibly could during the entire duration of the papers. I just hope that I'll be able to accept whatever grades that I'm going to get for what I submitted and have no regrets about it. Anyway, 2 subjects down, 3 more to go. I'm pretty worried about the other three because I haven't been spending too much time on them, especially chemistry. I really don't know why but, my chemistry has been on a downhill trend. It's like ever since my oh-so-glorious promotional results when everything started to change for the worse. Maybe it's complacency, or just plain stupidity.
Man. My self-esteem is plunging every single day. I honestly don't know whether I can pull through this, even though it's a must. Maybe thinking about the things I can do once everything is over will help. But planning events and outings aren't helping much too. Am I chaining myself to too many commitments when all of it ends? I need a getaway, and get away from the busy life that we're accustomed to. Maybe I need to find myself again, and reflect on whatever that has happened for the past two years here. But all of this can only be done when the final battle's over. Dear future me, no matter whether you get the grades you desire or not, you've done the absolute best that you possibly could and there's no point crying over it, because what's done is done. I'm extremely proud of what you have achieved, and I hope that you can overcome whatever you face and move on with life.
Moving on, do we pay attention to the people who we deem, or once deemed, as important in our lives? Like, do we still keep in touch with them, or even remember what they look like and their hobbies? Maybe some will feel that some memories are better left forgotten, but I think that there must be a reason why we thought that they were important to us at some point in our lives. Do we just forget everything that you've gone through with them, or do we just endlessly wait for that moment to appear in our lives again and give us an opportunity to catch up with one another? There's no doubt that I've made friends, and lost some in the process. But I am really hoping for the opportunity to come by and apologize for whatever that I've done. For pushing them away, backstabbing them, or just being the monster that I was once.
Maybe it's a little too early to say this because the finale hasn't arrived, but have we ever thought of how many of those around us will stand behind us and support us all the way through life when the journey ends? To be honest, I'm not expecting many. Maybe it's because of the stupid little mistakes and the little tantrums that I've thrown throughout my life, but I had it coming my way. Well, that's just something to ponder about and there's nothing that we can possibly do now but just wait and see..
Are we in the clear yet?
