You got no right to tell me who I really am.

Hey guys, it's pretty late now.. So I guess this is gonna be a short post eh? Went out with the 2e1'10 people on Monday, along with Adeline too! I guess it was pretty fun for us, even though we were chased out by the arcade. And I realised that I look VERY innocent. Louis asked me to ask the counter whether we could play at the LAN even though it wasn't an official school holiday and she allowed us in :D. Watched them play dota, and I think that they were kinda thrashed..

But before that, we were hanging out at the food court at the 6th level (I think) and stared at the Pepper Lunch television set, and Louis was tempted to buy it :D. Haha! Anyway, when we were at the LAN, the girls arrived and told us that they've been waiting us for an hour, the same amount of time that we stoned at the food court.. Feel really guilty about that though ><. But it's alright, because Adeline's here to save the day! Even though they were kinda lost in the end, but they bought Gong Cha and I was jealous ._.

Then, we went to JustAcia to eat our lunch! Adeline and I were discussing about chalet stuff. We talked about things that were quite saddening too, like about our class and what's been going on recently. This let me to ponder about the things around me, especially my friends. It's hard to help one side only because both of them are my good friends since sec 1! One had been sitting beside me for two whole years, and the other had been my 'bottle' for me to confide my secrets in. Sigh.. Really hope that they would patch up in the end.

I taught Cherie how to drink a Kimchi Soup with a ladle, like the more CIVILISED way! Haha, it's been ages since I last used that word. Guess I'll never fail to use my 2 favorite words whenever I'm with my Sec 2 class.. We were so bonded.. And now.. Sigh. ):.

Moving on, we went to watch 'Real Steel'! I bought hotdog and a drink for myself :D. It's been ages since I last ate a hotdog.. Anyway, it's a pity that I didn't sit with Gracia that day, as I wanted to tell her countless stuff as we haven't been in contact since the September holidays, and that was Smurfs, when we were talking halfway through the movie. It's alright though, I'm hoping to see her during my birthday chalet <3.

Talking about the movie, I don't think it's a good movie to recommend you all, unless you all want to have an honest moment inside the theater. Practically nearly fell asleep in the first hour of the movie. Cliche introduction, but as the story gradually builds up, it intensifies but still, I'll rate it a 5.5/10. It's just my personal preference ><, hope that those who liked the movie don't feel offended at all.

Went back home after that and watched my X Factor! I think I'm in love with a male contestant now. HAHA, But Caitlyn is still the best <3. Played a few rounds with Randy afterwards :D, and he broke my losing streak once again. I think I'm a noob at computer games, but I'm willing to learn!

Tuesday :

Argh. It's literally doomsday. Got back half of my results and I'm not really satisfied with them. Sigh..
Wouldn't want to post my results out yet because I wanna post them all in one shot, and that I did something with someone, so I hope that SOMEONE treats me my bubble tea for the entire year ^^, rather than me giving him 10 dollars T.T.

The day started with Chemistry. My results wasn't pretty bad compared to the rest, but I felt that I could've done better. When I asked Miss Ong a question about the Calcium Silicate, I could feel her disappointment in me. Sigh, I'm such a letdown. Upon checking through the script, I realised that I've thrown away 5 marks just because of not reading/analysing the question properly. 5 marks make a difference in one grade, and that's really a lot. Sighh.. I hope that I'll do well for Chemistry SPA in November.. I don't wanna disappoint Miss Ong again, even though she could be a little scary at times especially when I'm sitting at the first row in her class.

Then, it was Social Studies. I was a little surprised upon knowing that I passed.. Hmm. It was satisfactory, but my SBQs were horribly done. Sigh, I expected more from that section to save my mark. In the end, the essays saved me T.T. It's a good thing, but I kinda regretted some stuff that I've done during the duration of the paper, like not writing the conclusion for the first essay thinking that one of my factors would have a big CMI written all over it..

Next, English. I PASSED MY COMPO (:. But for my comprehension, terribly done once again. I think my grades are slipping and I really need to work on my English. Got to speak proper English from tomorrow onwards!

Moving on, my double maths. Both were a GREAT disappointment to me. I haven't exactly told my parents about any of my results yet, because I know that I might get scolded for my Emaths. It was horrendous. I didn't meet the A1 grade for the O level standard. Sigh. But at least, A maths was a bit of a saving grace to me, because I didn't expect myself to get that mark, but there were careless mistakes here and there and I should've had better time management T.T.

Last, HCL. I WAS NEARLY ON THE VERGE OF TEARS UPON RECEIVING MY PAPER. It was really.. A great disappointment. I hope the CL department doesn't kick me out of HCL because of my horrible results. So what I can do now is to hope for the best, and embrace myself for tomorrow... Sigh. I think that I've disappointed Jiang Lao Shi. She was such a good teacher, and tried her best to aid me in that subject, and all that I did was to let her down T.T.

If only time could rewind and that I could correct my mistakes once more.
I'm sure that I'd do them right.

After that, I went to tuition and fell asleep halfway due to exhaustion T.T. What's the worse part? The teacher that caught me was new and I was wearing my tie T.T. Anyway, lesson carried on as usual and I LOVE THE TEACHER THAT TEACHES ME COMPO (:. She's awesome.

Anyway, there's gonna be an abrupt ending to my post once again.. But before that, I wanna leave a message behind. Nights!

Hey Marijuana! I know that you may no longer be reading this blog anymore, but I want you to know that you can overcome this storm okay? To me, you're the best in that subject! Don't feel discouraged alright? Look at you, you've won me in almost every single subject today, including the Mathematical subjects. I'm sure that you'll win me too tomorrow. Cheer up! I don't wanna see you emo in school tomorrow, and I don't know what to do if you really do other than to give you sticky. I feel very guilty about that, because you've been comforting me every single time whenever I was really down in school.. We should buy KOI sometime okay? We'll have awesome times in my birthday chalet in less than 4 weeks away! (:.

In another life, I would make you stay.
So I don't have to say that you're the one that got away.
But I'm afraid of starting over again.
I'm scared that things would turn out the way I imagined it to be.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.


Managed to book the class chalet! I feel so accomplished for once in a while. Sigh, I hope things would turn out right this time. Anyway, gotta plan for it though, because my birthday chalet falls on the first night of it (:. Can't wait to use this opportunity to bond with my class right now, and to catch up with my friends from the past..

Been playing comp recently.. I'm such a bad boy right?! Anyway, i'm supposed to wake up 8 hours later (It's midnight now) and play with somebody! Haha, hope that I'll have fun later~ Anyway, gonna meet Louis and other 2e1'10 friends like Mortal ^^ to watch Real Steel tomorrow at Dhoby Ghaut! And I've refilled 3 sticky jars earlier today at Central before dining at Manhattan Fish Market for Lunch :D. I think the drinks are awesome, but I prefer Fish & Co though. Oh well, it's personal preference!

Tuesday is like arriving sooner than what I've expected. You might have guessed the reason right, as it's Scripts Checking day. I hope that I won't do as badly as what I had imagined earlier on, but who knows what would happen right? GOSH, It was so terrifying upon hearing that Miss Rozi had completed marking my Bio paper on Friday.. Sigh, and now Mr Teo's busy marking Geography and SS scripts right now. I hope everything goes well smoothly, and I'm kinda in self-denial now, because things would go wrong everywhere. Sigh..

Anyway, I'm just gonna enjoy life for the next 24 hours before confronting my very own version of Doomsday. I just wanna have fun, before knowing the ugly truth about how horribly I'd done for my EOY. But it's too late for regrets now.. Hmm, I think my friends would have the same feelings as what I'm experiencing now. All the best to those checking their scripts on Tuesday!

Moving on, there's a song that's stuck in my head for the entire week. I can totally relate to the lyrics, and what's the best part? It's Kelly Clarkson <3. It's been too long since she's been gone. I HOPE THAT SHE'LL MAKE HER BREAKAWAY ONCE MORE (:.

'So what, you've got the world at your feet,
and you know everything about everything,
but you don't.
You still think that I'm coming back,
but baby you'll see..'
- Kelly Clarkson

Aren't the lyrics true to us in one way or another? Sometimes people think that they know us, but in fact, they don't know anything about us, just like what I've been pondering about recently.

There's gonna be an abrupt ending to my post today. But before that, I'ma leave a quote behind.. Nights!

'When someone comes into your life,
they're here for a reason.
You either learn from them,
or be with them right till the end.'
- http://runawaytrain.tumblr.com

Lessons learned,
bridges burnt down the ground.
And it's too late to put out the fire.

'You and I,
right or wrong,
there's no other one after I've spent this time alone.
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind,
thinking about the better times,
must've been out of my mind.
So I'm running back to tell you..
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter,
as long as I'm laughing with you.
I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after,
after the life we've been through.
'Cause I know there's no life after you.'
-Daughtry

I throw all your stuff away,
and I throw you out my heart.

That's a downright lie. I can't believe this is happening once again. My emotions within are killing me, tearing my heart out for you. I don't really know what to say anymore. If only time could rewind and start everything anew once more. Maybe I'll lose some of my good friends, and maybe I'll gain some too. But there's this part within me that doesn't allow me to leave those that are really close to me. Like in Term 3, it was filled with regret and sorrow, even though I was the one who initiated it at first. Things were so close, yet so far away at the same time.

Maybe it didn't turn out as badly as what I had expected at first. It's already Term 4 now, and the feelings remain the same. One of them already noticed something's wrong with me, and I'm not sure why I'm not willing to tell her the other bits and pieces of my story. Sigh.. Maybe it's just me being too afraid to encounter incidents that are similar to the past once again. I'm just too afraid to breakdown and lose myself again in the process once more.

I'm already the president in choir for 2 terms already. I just don't feel attached to it, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just me holding back, or it's just that there're many sides of people that are in choir, and it makes me feel insecure just knowing them as friends. They may seem friendly, but I'm afraid that they're all superficial. That's the reason why I hate my CCA so much. Because they're not (going to be) as friendly as the many friends that I have now, and that it really sucks going there to see people's faces and trying to improve things that aren't gonna change forever. I'm starting to lose hope in myself, and in whatever that I do.

What makes a close friend? To me, they're those that understand every single action/movement that I take, and can see right through me in whatever that I do. That's what that matters. People that don't make me feel pissed off and angry whenever I see their faces, and those that I would forgive easily despite the severity of their mistakes.

I was supposed to be a quitter at first, until this person stepped into my life last year and changed 80% of my life, even if he doesn't notice it.

I'm a lightweight.
Easy to fall,
Easy to break.
With every move my world shakes,
to keep me from falling apart.


You should be careful with whatever that you say.
Because words seem amplified to me,
regardless of what they mean.
Words can simply blow me away,
and take control of my heart,
along with my character.
That's how fragile I am.

We lived.
We loved.
We die.


I realised that I tend to make countless grammatical errors in my posts ><. Sigh, gotta improve on my English ><. Hmm.. Exams are finally over for most of us, except for the graduating students of the school! All the best, seniors (:.

Anyway, speaking of papers, I think they were horribly done, and the main reason for that is because of time management. Gosh, despite bringing a watch inside the examination hall, I didn't have enough time to check through all my papers. Yeah, and I meant all. I think Biology was a close shave for me though, because there was nothing much to check.. And who knows? Miss Rozi might be marking my paper right now..

Moving on from this dreadful topic, I think that today (friday) was well spent! Wished all the lit students the very best for their lit paper! :D. Anyway, after oral ( which was about celebrations that killed me in the picture conversation ), I went with Macs with Arnold to eat breakfast! He asked me about the rumor, but I wasn't really sure of my feelings anymore, and I might have lied to him.. Then, we talked about CCA and Council stuff, and tried to figure out ways to improve our juniors in the various CCAs that we're from.. And he's the nice guy in scouts, which shocked me entirely.

Went home and played computer for a while before having an afternoon nap. I guess I'm pretty tired from all the studying during the week and it's time to embark some peace and serenity in my dreams eh? Oh, and it's my mum's birthday today! Happy Birthday! :D. Upon waking up, I went to play with Randy and he broke my losing streak :D.

After that, went to Dhoby Gaunt and had buffet dinner to celebrate my mum's birthday! Wanted to play with Randy upon reaching home, but I guess X factor kinda distracted me, AND IT WAS AWESOME! Totally love all the 4 judges! :D. Rihanna was there to give her advice to L.A :D.

Hmm, about the song choices in the show, I think 3 out of 8 songs that were covered were originally sung by Rihanna herself. And upon watching the show today, I realised that there are potential winners in every single catagory of the competition! I guess I'm gonna root for Caitlin. Each and every of her performances sends chills down my spine. They're like so emotional and she manages to bring out the lyrics to the 'audience' and the judges that are right in front of her. Hope that she'll win :D.

And, there was this guy who sang 'Crazy In Love'. I think his name was Dexter or something like that.. Really admire his guts and abilities. I doubt many guys can sing and dance as well as the original artist (Beyonce). That reminded me of the dance competition in august though, because that was our second choice to dance after 'Womanizer'.. RIGHT MATTHEW? :D.

Well, I guess my brain's fried right now. So I'ma have an 'early' night now. NIGHTS (:.

Even if I'm hot and cold at times,
I'm not a freaking backstabber.

I thought that was the end of time,

but I still gotta hold up,

and hold on.

I need some space,

give me my boundaries to breathe once more,

and free me for this redemption that awaits me.