It's been a first time in a long time.

Woke up at 7am to prepare myself for the briefing at newton.. Took quite some time to arrive there because we were halfway lost upon reaching there.. Anyway, it's really absurd. The briefing only lasted for 20 min while we took 1h30min to reach there. It's seriously a waste of time ><. Quite irritated to the max now.

However, that's not exactly the main post for today. After that, went out to have a gathering with 2E1'10 people! I'm glad that I'll be able to relive the moments that I had 9 months ago, facing the hyper-ness and craziness that my class offered in their everyday lives. I think I ate a lot, but I managed to take a few photographs to remember the memories spent together as a class. And I think that Brandon's nerf guns are really cool! :D.

Managed to catch up with my classmates that I'd lost touch with ever since I stepped into Triple Science. Glad that they're still whoever I knew they were. But, I don't think I am whoever they know anymore. I guess life's really a manipulator right? I think it may be because of the stress that's been unleashed to me recently, and that I'm the only one in my class to take up HCL, but I wish to remain what I was before and not change into some freaking asshole right now.

I've always had many faces. I think my lower secondary classes know that extremely well.. But I've been trying to bury something deep within my soul. Something that I wouldn't want to unleash/reveal again this year.
It's great being a hypocrite, hiding your true feelings and being strong on the outside. Sometimes it's the best that people don't understand your feelings etc, because they can see right through you, and who knows what happens next. Sometimes it's also the best to suffer from Short-Term Memory (STM). I know that this may seem as a disadvantage to most of us, but we can forget whatever we do not wish to remember easily, and will not care what happened in the past, as it has already been vanished from your mind since a long time ago.

I understand your condition right now.
That's why I'm not holding it against you.
Just realized that I'm stuck in my own dimension of loneliness once more.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

- Bob Marley. 

That's why there's something called once in a blue moon.


If we knew things would happen then, would we be able to see/prevent it? They may only come once in a while, starts to knock on your door and throws you a smile. Even though it may take every breath, and leave every scar behind, but we'll all miss it if we don't realize the small and minute incidents that occur around us. It's good dreaming to soar high, but don't forget that little platform that others have made to support you whenever you fall. No matter what we do, speak from your heart, and sing from your soul. I don't want to have something for eternity, even if I survive as an immortal. I just want to have that moment. That moment of honesty, the time when everything comes and goes, and allows you to feel it happening.

We may have been clueless about how many chances that we've took or the number of apologies that we've said. But if another opportunity comes by, I'll be glad to take it, even if I know that I will leave in disappointment. Because I won't live in a world of regret, tormenting myself over something that I didn't even try. We may not get back our chances, or redeem ourselves with forgiveness, but at least cherish whatever that we have right now, especially those around us.

Make every opportunity last long, and seek to find more in the present/future. Take them for granted, and you'll find them disappearing sooner than what you can imagine, like in just a blink of an eye. We were young, and we were restless. Just like clueless kids, thinking that days would pass by happily, without noticing anything else that's happening at the same time. But if I knew then, will I know now?

My apologies for that emotional post just now. Watched Smurfs with Dad, Mortal, JY and Faithful Neighbor just a few days ago. Although it was a cute and hilarious movie, I feel that there're countless messages implemented into it. I think I should treasure every single person I have in my life, especially my friends. I know that most of them will be there guiding me, as well as me guiding them, whenever we need it..

Anyway, been studying/doing homework and playing computer at the same time these days. It's like extremely sad knowing that the September holidays is coming to a halt soon. But looking at the bright side, at least I managed to discover something that's priceless over this season and serve myself a wake up call in whatever that I'm currently doing.

There's 2E1'10 gathering tomorrow. And I am indeed joyful being able to attend it. It's been too long - 8 months since I've last seen us together as a class, making witty jokes and having countless memorable times with one another. They were right, we were bonded. Not talking bad about my class this year, but I feel that there's something amiss. Something that's lacking as compared with 2E1'10. They may not have been that smart, but they weren't exactly conservative, and definitely not way over conservative. That's the difference between the two years.. She was right, we were being selfish with one another. Focusing only on ourselves and not on the environment around us. That's the main reason why we're falling like dominoes recently.

I think there's nothing in my mind now. I feel confused, and tired at the same time. Maybe I should just take a nap, and prepare myself for an enjoyable day later.

It feels like tonight.
But I can't believe that I'm broken inside.
Thinking that what you did to me,
and what I did to you.
I'm ready to feel again,
without the fear of falling down.
There's nothing I can do though,
even if I wanna make it up to you.


If I were a little bit stronger, 
my world would be crashing at my feet now.

So we burst into colors and carousels.

Woke up at like 5.45am today? And I was tired to the extreme max. Had to wake up and arrive at Clementi by 7.10am. That place is like super far away from my house, but I can't really complain, because it's more inconvenient to get there for some of my schoolmates!

So I took the bus to the MRT station and nearly lost my way, because it's been too long sitting on a bus and alighting at a Kallang Station.. Anyway, I was carrying my blazer and my bag that is filled with physics notes and books for the SSP lesson afterwards.

In the train compartment, was busy sms-ing Jia Hui and listening to Britney Spears <3. Oh gosh Joy, you've made me crazy over those pictures in your blog ><. And it's all your fault! Well, my estimated arrival time was supposed to be 6.50am ( Don't know why it's earlier than expected ), but arrived at 7.00am instead! And the best part? I didn't wait for the train to arrive at all. Moving on, waited at Clementi MRT station and realised that I was the only one holding a blazer in my hand while the students of other schools were merely just wearing their school uniforms.. So it was really awkward ><.

Then, everyone was on time.. Except.. DAD. IC somemore.. Tsk tsk. Exposing his mistakes now. Late for like 15 minutes? Moving on, we went to the bus stop, and watched the bus zoom past us as we thought that everyone else was alighting that bus. Oh well, luckily, the next bus came in about 7 minutes (:. Alighted after 2 stops and started to follow the students from other schools to Nan Hua. However, they took the longer route and we had to rely on Siong Hang's printed map to navigate us to our destination!

Arrived quite punctually, almost at the last minute! Then walked up the stairs to the Auditorium! And their school is extremely BIG. And we had to register, before finding ourselves a place to sit for the forum! The GOH arrived and we started the forum. Well, what I can say is that it is filled with propaganda, and there's loads of self contradictions made by the GOH. However, he managed to intrigue me into thinking how I'm managing my leadership position. Do I tend to be unreasonable at times? Am I really doing the right thing? And am I leading the choir to the right yet common destination? I'm not sure anymore..

Was trying to take down notes from the forum, but failed terribly as I was on the verge to fall asleep. Anyway, was looking through Dad's notes until he wrote on his paper, 'Stop looking at me notes, you sly boy (:. ' . That's so mean right? It's just a joke anyway!

AND FINALLY! The forum was over and they had more speeches! And the best part of the forum, tea break! Spent like 15 minutes doing nothing and pondering about some random stuff~. Went back to the auditorium and we went to our own separate groups based on the colors that we had on our name cards. So we went to our different venues and started to brainstorm about leadership qualities etc. 

Was quite interactive and engaging in a sense! And the ice-breakers were truly enjoyable. Imagine the person holding to the whacko whacking himself because his name was called out. Yeah, it was THAT epic. Consolidated all our points and I was selected to do the presentation ><.

Went back to the Auditorium and presented ><. I think I failed big time, but I was somehow shivering and stuff. Anyway, I managed to get their attention by singing a small little sneek peek of Beyonce's ' Irreplaceable'  :D. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE'RE THE 5TH GENERATION LEADERS RIGHT? :D

After that, went back with Jia Hui to school, and at first, I was supposed to eat lunch with Dad and Sliced Ham. But since the forum dragged too much, I had to return for my SSP lesson with Miss Ting ^^. I think she's an awesome physics teacher even though I was late for it! It was a one-to-one session. Went through the chapter of thermal energy, and I guess I understood it better than most of the other physics chapters that was taught to me this year. The seniors were right, she rocks at teaching in smaller scales! She understands my concerns and she even gave me cookies to eat knowing that I rushed back from the forum without having my lunch. THANKS MISS TING! I <3 you!

Started with the formula, and I had troubles manipulating it. Oh well, there goes my maths. I guess I'm slow in algebra for that matter. And she taught me how to phrase my answers and I WROTE LOADS OF NOTES! Managed to complete two worksheets and got homework to do ^^. Okay, I guess I'm extremely enthusiastic for Physics now! Gotta strive for my best in that subject! Must get my A1! :D.

Then, rushed to choir and we practised some songs. It was quite horrible for me, except for my dear Sop 1s as they managed to get most of their notes right (:. But there's something sad that happened today ):. Even though Sop 2s had more people, the 5 Sop 1s had to split into different notes because they had difficulty learning that part D:. Oh well. 

After that, tried to talk to the choir for a little while? And I went with Sean and Yijie to Popular to buy the Geog Workbook. But before that, went to the cinema to get my tickets! I'm afraid that it might sell out tomorrow! So it's good to play safe ^^.

Then, bought GONG CHA! Toffee Milk Tea with Pearl at 30% sugar ^^. But I don't really like the taste of it.. Reminds me of butterscotch, but Oh well. Afterwards, we crapped a lot and walked in Nex for quite some time before going home.. :D.

Anyway, I've just discovered that it had been AGES since I last posted a song for you guys right? Well, here's one of my most favorite ballads :D. And it's done by... The Magnificent, indescribable.. MARIAH CAREY :D.

And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around.

And I try to front like 'Oh Well' each time you let me down.

I just <3 Mariah Carey high notes especially in her chorus. After so many years, I still stay in love with her <3.

And today, I plan to study Chemistry before I sleep! So wish me luck! Nights everyone (:. And it's time for a bit of Smurf-some tomorrow!

Please send me an angel,

and enlighten me in this life.

I know that I've done mistakes in the past,

but is it really too late to erase and rewind to the times we had?

You look at me.

It's like you've hit me with lightning.

Went out today to celebrate cousin's birthday! Happy Birthday :D. Thanks for being there to play with me Xbox and teaching me how to play Warcraft~. Good luck with your ambitions in being a teacher! I wanna be a teacher too, but my parents are somehow rejecting the idea :/, and I have little patience to start with. So I gotta spend some time to do some thought process before coming up with a decision.

Anyway, I've been loads recently. And today marks the last day for myself to let loose and relax myself. It's gonna be me and the textbooks/notes and assessments for the rest of the week! It's time for some official mugging eh? But I will still play once in a while to destress! I hope that I will manage to buck up after Term 3's fiasco. So best of luck to myself!

There's Nan Hua Leadership talk tomorrow! Gotta wake up super early for it! Maybe 5.45am? And then there's Physics SSP! Good personal time with Miss Ting :D. Can't wait for it! Will be able to address my issues regarding Physics with her! Hope that the time spent would be fruitful!

And it's Queen B's birthday today! Happy Birthday to the one and only spotlight Diva... BEYONCE! :D. 

That's all for today people! Gotta go catch some rest now. Nights (:.

I'm utterly shocked for what I've just heard from you.

Even though how much I disapprove,

I still wish you all the best as a good friend.

Fuck him he's a DJ.
All night long he's got the beat.
Fuck him he's a DJ
Keeps playing that song,
It works for me.

But you can't hold on to water.
It fills you up but never stays.

Hello people! It's been a long time since I last had a decent post eh? First and foremost, I'm officially hooked into playing League of Legends. Trying desperately for myself to kick the habit, but failing terribly at it!

Anyway, a belated Happy Teacher's Day to all teachers out there, even though they can't exactly read my blog! Thanks for being there to guide us in whatever that we do! We may annoy/disappoint you all at times, but you never fail to ignite that passion to teach us and lead us to the right direction! Thank you all so much!

There's no me without you <3

 Moving on, I've just mentioned something about direction. This doesn't really apply to teachers, but is leading someone to the right direction the right thing to do? I'm afraid that if I do so, he'll lose his personal integrity, and maybe lose more of himself than what that person is supposed to gain..

 Been watching loads of shows recently. And I miss Hell's Kitchen! Great that I managed to catch up with some of the episodes today. It's awesome watching the head chef scolding the contestants as the screw up their challenge/dinner-service and start to blame one another! Ahh. Awesome times. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that it's the September Holidays now! One well-deserved break for me to buck up with my subjects. I gravely fear for my Chemistry/A-Maths. I need to start devoting some of my precious time revising through the topics that had been covered by my teachers..

 And, Clare watched Smurfs without me D:. So.. I'm planning to watch it this week! Anyone wanna come along? Katy Perry <3. OH YEAH. Speaking of which, I'm supposed to collect my posters tomorrow! But shall give them a call to see whether they're ready or not! Can't wait for it! Choir's about to start soon, and guess what? I'm not even looking forward to it. I'm supposed to attend Physics SSP on Monday morning, but because of the leadership talk, my session would be at 2, and it clashes with my choir timeslot. Oh well, studies more important right? And mentioning about the leadership talk, I honestly believe that it is absolutely unnecessary to wear blazers to the talk! It's not like some meeting or whatsoever right? Tie with School Uniform seems acceptable to me, but that..? No Way.

 I'm like currently rotting myself at home right now. But the good thing is, I talked to Mortal for about 2.5h until about 2.30am in the morning. It feels good to confide in someone :D. Well, I think that's all for today! And guess the song title in my blog's playlist! I bet you know it ^^.

 I'm afraid to let you in too deep this time round.
Even though this problem has been resolved,
but I can't bear to confide in you anymore.
I can treat you as a friend, or even a good friend,
but I can no longer treat you as my best friend like last year.
There's this piece of me that's holding me back to renew this friendship with you.
I wanna isolate myself for just one instance,
and take a good look at myself and reflect upon what I have done so far.
Because of you,
I learn to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
I don't want to be attached to this anymore,
fearing that something might happen between us.
Betrayals, Miscommunications and worst, misunderstandings.
I hope that I will be able to move on,
and let you inside my life once more.
But it's just so hard.

有人曾经告诉我， 应该争取机会。
万一失去了， 就永远不会再碰到它。
我很想当你心目中想象的男人，
但我做不到。
因为我知道你喜欢上了一个人，
也不会改变你对我的印象。
不论我如何提升自己，
你也不会感到满足。

你知道吗？
你是我心目中里的小乌龟。
当我想照顾你时，
你会把自己藏在一个角落上，
不让我找到你。

有人说，爱的感觉比樱桃更甜，
但那句话是错的。
喜欢上一个人并不代表他对你有任何的感觉。
我很想放弃我自己。
因为了一时的糊涂，
就把事情搞到了这样的地步。

朋友们劝我要坚持到底，
总有一天会收到收获的。
但我不可以继续下去了，
因为在这个过程当中，
我不但不能实现期望，
也要忍住自己的难受。

我想，如果没有我的存在，
你就会过的一个更美好的生活。
不用担心我在跟踪你，
也不必藏着自己的笑容。

When they point to the pictures,
Please tell them my name.
Tell them how the crowds went wild.
Tell them how I hoped they shine.