Dark Horse.

You should know what you're fighting for.

Dark Horse. These are the two words that I'll use to sum up my entire experience with Novus. Novus, we may be green, but every single one of us came from different backgrounds. I remember the very first time I met all of them, clearly unaware that this group of people would be the closest group of friends I'll ever be with throughout my entire stay here at NYJC. We had our fair share of awkward moments, knowing that we didn't have any popular kids amongst us, and feeling extremely discouraged thinking that we wouldn't be able to get as high as the other OGs. Right from the start, we had this mentality that we would not win at all, simply because we were not as cool as the other kids in the other OGs.

And that was when the other OGs decided to strike. I'm not trying to foster any hatred between the groups now, but all of us had to admit that we were the ones being belittled and looked down upon. It was quite obvious that Novus was constantly the topic in their whatsapp chats, and it wasn't because of how well we did, but because of how sucky we were to them. To be honest, it felt like Novus was the only family isolated from the other three families, simply because we were cast aside, like unwanted goods that did not manage to get sold during a warehouse sale. Even though I wasn't there for the first performance check, I heard that we were a mess. I remember us freaking out over the realisation of the amount of work we had to do during the holidays, when half of it has passed already. I still remember the very first day I learnt the choreography for "One-Shot". Damn. It was hard. Like seriously hard. It's probably the first choreography that made me doubt myself - whether I would be able to pull it off during the actual performance. Learning only the first half of the first set of 8 took up 2 hours of practice that day. We were that unproductive, when the other OGs were almost done with finalising and learning their dancesteps. Thinking back now, it's a feat learning those dance moves. We may not have perfected it, but we at least gave it our all, and that's what that matters the most.

Novus. We've had our highs and lows, with more lows than highs. It didn't feel encouraging when the other OGs looked down on us, seriously. The feeling that we got from the other OGs was that there was no longer an 'N' in NYJC. Maybe that's the main reason why we're so close now. We were at ground zero, literally, and we had no other families to rely on whenever we needed help. All we had was us. Maybe that's the reason why we only have one NOVUS. Not the popular-Novus and the poor-Novus. Just Novus, with our 'N' capitalised. What we shared to one another during the last day of orientation was right - we wouldn't be the same right now, if any one of us gave up halfway and left. Novus. All of us played an equal role in building what it has become today, whether it has been seen by others or not. The list could go on and on. Without Rachel and Heng Gee, we wouldnt be so bonded today, because it was those dance practices that gave us time to know one another better. Without Ben, I wouldn't have cute hamster cheeks to brighten up my day during mealtime. Without Brian, the ice and our personal barriers between us would not have been broken effectively... To put it simply in words, they were honestly the best group of friends I've ever had in my entire JC life.

Yes, we've had our fair bit of arguments, days when our anger would come out all of a sudden and shots fired towards one another. But at the end of the day, we forgive because we're one big family. I've never felt comfortable talking to 35 people individually or as a whole group before, despite the similar opportunities I had in the past. But because of Novus, I did. To be honest, they were the ones who brought the light into my life. I was at the stage of falling apart just days before we first met, with all the conflicts and thoughts flooding my mind. They were the ones who could make me smile genuinely without hiding any ulterior motive. They were the ones whom I could take off my mask of emotions and hang out with. They were seriously the ones who made me believe that I could belong to a circle of friends without thinking that I'm just being an extra there. They were the ones who restored my faith in true friendships.

To be honest, there were times when I felt like giving up on them. Maybe it was my mind overthinking and stuff, but there were times when my mind started to explode and made me wonder whether I was excluded from the family, especially after what some of them said to me. I tried to hold myself back for weeks, drifting away from the meetings and outings that they had. But as I walked away, my heart was empty. Like really empty. What would I be without Novus? Nothing. I wouldn't have learnt so much and changed into a better person without them. I would still be stuck in the past, thinking about the past instead of the present of the future. But they, they were my main motivation to come to school, so that we could hang out with one another whenever we were free. They are also the only group in NY whom I could be brutally honest with. They are the only ones who did not require any form of sugar coating whenever I had to address certain issues, because I knew that I wouldn't get judged for what I said, and that they really understood me and my intentions.

The outings we had. They may have been small (in terms of the outing itself, not the participation), but they were awesome in their own unique ways. I think that this group of friends would always have a special place in my heart, because they were the first group of friends whom I had steamboat, mass sleepover and Christmas with. There are just too many fond memories of us together that I can't recall. Thank you for the experiences that all of you have offered me, even though I couldn't make it for some. They're seriously the only group of friends who can make me feel the guilt of not being there with them, despite my emotions on any day, when I'm needed somewhere else. I'd always have this urge to head towards where they are even when I'm supposed to be somewhere else. They're that important to me. Seriously, if I could go back in time and change it, December 2013 would be the only December in my life so far, that I wouldn't change. They made that Decemeber the best month of the year, despite my bad memories with that month. They might be the greatest mistake I've ever made in my entire schooling life, with the tremendous pile of homework that needed to be cleared whenever I'm with them. But I would honestly commit that mistake of joining all over again, because they were blessings in disguise to me.

Novus. There's really no fear and no shame being in this family now. We fought, we fell, but we stood together as one all the way from the start to the end of this journey, and the many more that's coming. We were the dark horse of the orientation, from being a zero, to being our very own heroes. They may have taken down the Novus flag, and got done with Prima Volta, but nobody can take away that Novus part of me no matter what I do, or where we go.

Here's to the one and only... NOVUS.

We are the perfect storm.

20 Truths That Can Change Everything In Your Life.

1. You can easily define your life with your fears.

Don’t underestimate the power of what you are afraid of. It is the root of much of existence as we know it. You can neglect your full potential because of being afraid. Know that it is nothing more than a mind-game. Danger is real. Heartache is real. Fear is not. It’s a story we tell ourselves.

2. The important questions usually can’t be answered.

There are many questions that people have tried to answer for thousands of years, but to no avail. Or at least not one that is universally agreed upon. The things that matter usually don’t have concise and easily attainable answers. The mystery is part of the magic.

3. Much of your suffering is rooted in attachment and expectation.

Learn to jive with the ebb and flow of things. The most beautiful thing I have learned, through countless examples in my own life and observations in the lives of others, is that very often when things don’t work out the way you want them to, you hold onto what you think should be because you see no alternative. That alternative is right around the corner. Just wait for it.

4. If you want meaning in your life, learn to apply it.

There is no universal meaning for life. It is, simply, what you make it. So make it what you want. There is nobody else who should dictate what your meaning is, so it’s up to you to apply it. I suggest applying it to the beautiful, everyday things that keep you going. The things you may overlook, but you’d be lost without: the things that really matter most.

5. Being kind is more powerful than you probably realize.

You will be amazed at how many people, hearts and opportunities open up when you open your heart to them. It’s a tricky business, kindness, because we live in a world rampant with cruelty, and some may trickle in. Don’t let it close you.

6. Happiness requires the ability to embrace uncertainty.

Happiness has everything to do with just living for today– something most of us are slow to master, if at all. People think that they’ll be happy once they have this thing or that thing, or at the very least, that they know love and success and wonderful things are coming. It’s like we need something to make today’s suffering worth it. But here’s the thing: tomorrow may never come. Love and success and wonderful things may never come, or they may, and they may leave just as quickly. Nothing is certain but what you have today, so it’s the only logical thing to base your happiness on.

7. “Eternal silence is always at hand.” If you have something to do or say, now is the time.

You may not always have the opportunity to say what you think or feel. You may not always have the opportunity to tell somebody that you love them. I know there are a dozen reasons you would rather not, but there’s only one reason to do so if you feel compelled to: you may not have another chance.

8. Life will rarely look like what you thought it would.

Some things will be worse, some will be better than you ever could have imagined… and some will just be different. Many grandiose visions that we have never come to pass, so learn to release them. Spending everyday comparing your reality to the ideas you had in your head will always leave you feeling shortchanged.

9. “This too shall pass.”

The pain will pass, but so will the other things that you may not always have around to enjoy. It’s just a simple reminder that everything is fleeting and temporary.

10. It is always the little things.

This has a lot to do with the concept of your baseline of happiness, something I’ve written about before. Your overall level of contentment will briefly fluctuate with great successes or major tragedies. You will eventually return to your baseline. To change that, you must fill your everyday life with the little things that make you happy. In retrospect, you will most often find, that the things you most remember and look back on most fondly are little, and would otherwise seem insignificant.

11. If you don’t go after it, you’ll never have it. If you never ask, the answer will always be no.

All you need is a few seconds of courage. It’s scary when your pride is at stake, and you’re afraid of losing someone or damaging your reputation. But if you feel something is so inherently true and you are otherwise compelled to say so but are withheld by your fears, take that step. Even if it doesn’t go the way you wanted, you can at least cross one other avenue off your list of possibilities.

12. Consider trying to adopt some qualities of the person you’d like to fall in love with. By that I mean, love yourself first.

You should always be your own person, I don’t mean to say that you should base your own self around someone else, I just mean to propose another way to learn to love yourself. Very often, the qualities that we would ideally like in a partner are the ones that we wish we had ourselves. Don’t wait for someone else to complete you.

13. What you think, you become.

It’s an ancient principle, but it is one of the things I have found to be most true. Change your mindset, change your life.

14. Equal does not have to mean the same: embrace and respect your differences.

Being human is all you need to be eligible for equality. You need not prove yourself as being “the same” as someone else to feel worthy of equality. You deserve it, as does everybody else, just because you are.

15. When things least look like they are going to change, they usually do.

There’s only one way up from rock bottom, right? When things seem absolutely hopeless and you’ve all but given up, something beautiful and little and miraculous usually shows up and leads you to the revelation you’ve been waiting for.

16. Never cease to be thankful.

Imagine if someone less privileged than you lived your life with you for a day. Imagine how grateful some people would be to have food in the refrigerator and a computer or fancy phone to be reading this on… lest we forget just the privilege to be able to read.

17. Mind over matter.

10% what happens, 90% how you react. Always.

18. There is an atlas in your gut. Listen to it.

Those little voices and feelings are not to be ignored. The tricky thing, though, is that they’re just that: little. Easy to brush off and ignore. So often arriving in a swamp of other “nonsensical” thoughts and feelings. Believe me, it’s worth your time to learn to differentiate what your gut feeling is. It will serve you in ways beyond what you can imagine.

19. Always consider what you would do if money were no object in your life.

We are controlled by our need for money. It can be very difficult to differentiate what you want from your life with what you need simply because in our society you need money to survive. It may not always be practical, but it will always be beneficial to consider what we’d do with our lives if we were just here to be, and all our needs were taken care of. It will help you to define yourself for who you are, not what you are conditioned to be.

20. You usually know what the right thing to do is. It’s just a matter of having the courage to do it.

More often than not, you do have the answer. It’s just a matter of having the courage to do what you know you should.

- Brianna Wiest, "The Truth about Everything"

New Perspectives.

I can't believe I'm broken inside.

It's been barely 2 months since the start of school and I've already had new perspectives of my life. From keeping up with my school-work to being a senior all over again. It's like, I think I've grown up way too fast during the course of the past two months. New perspectives, I've been taught to think from them. Thought that I will be better having them. But it turns out that I was wrong all along, and I don't know how I had become so blinded from the number of harsh facts piling right in front of me.

Maybe being too nice is a bad trait after all. You'll just end up getting abused and pushed around. It felt like I was a pushover. To think that I really sacrificed most of my time for you guys, just to get excluded like that. I was wrong, but I'll never be wrong again. All of you made me comfortable, but that was when you hit me with my guard down. Perhaps joining you guys was the best, and biggest, mistake that I've ever made in my entire life. I don't know what are the mistakes I've made, but it's time to move on. I'm really sick of pots calling the kettle black, especially when they're oblivious (or ignorant) about the flaws they have. It's funny how we seem to be together all the time, with all the segregation occurring every single time. Maybe it's just me against all of you, but I'm really tired of trying so hard to integrate myself back into the group. It really feels like watching a movie whenever I'm with all of you, with my presence being there when I'm actually not. I'm no longer part of your conversations, because I only hear about them after all of you have finished discussing the first three quarters of it. I don't understand anything that's been going on lately. Whenever I'm with you guys, I feel lonely. Like really lonely in the midst of all of you. There's nothing to talk about whenever we meet anymore, because you've been too used to my absence. To be honest, I really hate it when I talk and I don't get replies. It defeats the purpose of speaking out, up to the point where I don't really bother to talk in that chat anymore. I guess there's nothing I can do now to reintegrate myself back in. Maybe it's time to smile at the memories that we've made and call it a day.

There isn't one thing left you could say.

I'm sorry it's too late.

30 Things You Should Stop Putting Yourself Through.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2.Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Credits to:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/30-things-you-should-stop-putting-yourself-through.html

Falling Fast.

I still remember the pain of December.

It was supposed to be a feeling that was already gone, until your face pops up inside my mind every single time. You remind me of the things that I regret, and the apologies left unsaid. I don't know why does it still last, when I've tried every thing that I could to let you go. It's like that feeling never left whenever it comes back, even for a short period of time. I hate it when I think of you. I hate it even more when the thought of you reminds me of the best thing I never had. I should've just left things alone in the first place. Never should have tried and never should have stayed. It has been so long. Too long. Too long that it's best to let things be, no matter how much I hate it. It sucks knowing that the person who built you up, is the one who tears you apart in the end. There's really nothing left to say and do now. I don't even see you anymore, but I'm still being haunted. Haunted by the memories that shouldn't have stayed.

It remains as a decision that can never be undone. Taking you for granted and crossing the line. I was being ignorant and selfish, and a million apologies would never make it erase and rewind. I feel really screwed up, because I should know what I'm missing out on now. But I don't. I don't know what's missing in my life. I feel selfish for finding another person to replace you, when it was forced all along. I find no point in opening myself up to others when the thoughts of negativity starts to flood my mind. The thought of history repeating itself. The thought of opening myself up and letting people in, for them to disappear once more. That's why I chose to play on the safe side, to close myself up and fake a smile every single day, no matter how wrecked I may be. I also feel very selfish for putting up barriers between myself and the great friends I've made so far. It's like they've been opening up to me so much, that even I would expect myself to open up to them more, to at least let them know something that is beneath the surface of what they see. But I can't. I just can't.

I think that it has come to a point when I should start giving up. Giving up on trying to do what it takes to make things feel better. I can no longer make it feel right, when I know that it's been wrong all along.

I'm not sure how I got there.
But all of the roads led me here.

Human.

I'm only human.
I bleed when I fall down.
I crash when I break down.
Your words in my head;
Your knifes in my heart.
You build me up,
and then I fall apart.
I'm only human.

Mine.

Stop making a big deal out of the little things,
cause I got big deals and I got little things.


Beyonce - Mine (feat. Drake) HD by hdimax

Forgotten. That's what I've been feeling lately. It's like I've been outcast-ed from a group that I've been close with recently. Maybe it was the words that I've said, or the things that I've done, but I'll never know. I'm starting to drift away in my own realm of thoughts whenever I'm with them, when I'm supposed to be close to them. Supposed, that's the word that appears in my mind whenever I think about them. I'm like in a totally different frequency from them these few weeks that I don't know either them or me anymore. We may seem bonded, but it's getting a little too far. I hate it whenever I type something out in the chat and everyone seems to ignore what I've written instead of replying to it. I feel that I've been trying too hard to blend back in again. Maybe I've completely lost my aim this time. It's ironic, you know? To feel alone while being in the middle of a crowd. I'm only there for the things that they want me to do. I feel controlled, like really controlled, and I can't do a single thing about it.

Maybe that's the reason why I'm starting to lose interest in seeing them once more. Or maybe, I'm just starting to become more practical and compare them with my class. My class isn't perfect. All of us have flaws, but at least we give and take. Thinking about it now, I've spent 5 years trying to find a perfect class, just to discover that there'll never be a perfect class. All of us have our imperfections, and it's the imperfections of every individual that makes us unique and perfect in one way or another.

Sigh. The responsibilities that I've given myself this year. I'm starting to lose my own sense of direction. I can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. It's like I've been heading backwards whenever I attempt to move forward. I've got a huge load of proposals to look through, and also rehearsals to attend. I'm really starting to feel the pressure, with two tests next week and ODAC orientation coming soon. There's just so many things that require my attention. Man, maybe I'm reaching my breaking point.

They say that when you're at your rock bottom, forward is the only direction left for you. But how do you know whether you've hit the rock bottom? You can't, because just when you think that life has hit you hard enough, it smacks you harder around. You know what's the hardest part about growing up? It's that you'll learn how to accept the fact about losing the things that once belonged to you. I'm starting to feel a little awkward talking to a few friends lately, when we've been extremely comfortable with one another before. I really need to salvage those friendships, before they become permanently destroyed. I still regret sometimes, for what I did to you. I'd still think about what would happen to us if that didn't happen. If only I controlled myself. If only I held back and controlled the words coming out from my mouth then. If only. But there's nothing left for me to do to make the past rewind. It'll forever be a scar in me, for what I did.

I've been bottling up lots of my emotions recently, and I need a medium to let it all out. To channel all the negativity and emotions out from me soon. They say that only true friends will know what you're feeling no matter what front you put up. And so far, only a few can spot it. But maybe that is enough. At least there is still someone who looks out for you when they know that you're knocked down, because they know that I'll do the same for them too.

Sigh. I guess what I read online is applicable to me too.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?” 

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter.

It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

Remember to put the glass down.

I got to remember to put the glass down, and turn away from people and things that make me unhappy. And I got to start now, before things get worse.

I don't wanna go back to square one.

Seventeen.

All we needed was love,
That's the way it was supposed to be.

Seventeen. It's a new year, and another beginning for me. JC 2 seems pretty stressed out, as the school decided to start off the term with a bang, literally. I've been flooded with tests and incomplete assignments from the holidays, and have been sleeping for an average of about 4 hours a night. Man. This isn't the way I wanted JC2 to be. I know that it's going to be hard, but I didn't want to be pulled down by my lazy acts last year..

Nevertheless, i've managed to complete all of them by the first week, which is a feat despite all the extension of deadlines. January has been great, seeing all my classmates every single weekday once more. They're the only reason why I look forward to lectures everytime, because that is when we usually bond. I'm quite proud to be from 1320,even though we have a lack of big outings like chalets and BBQs. It's like we're all bonded in an extremely unique manner and understand each other quite well.

Anyway, I'm really sorry for not blogging recently (for about a month) because of the committments that I've tied myself down with. But still, it's a new year and I should make some resolutions for myself. So here we go:

14 resolutions for 2014
1. 200 friends in NYJC by the end of the year.
2. Get at least a silver for NAPFA.
3. To get at least an A for 3 H2 subjects, and a B for the remaining H2 and GP.
4. Keep up with the committment of eating out with my family at least once a week.
5. Keep up with the homework load in school - not dragging my assignments for more than 5 days.
6. Have at least two positive thoughts daily, no matter what life throws at me.
7. The ability to think rationally no matter what scenario that I am in.
8. Staying out of love. There's little time left for distractions.
9. Not to overthink/complicate things. It's time to stop my mind from messing things up.
10. At least 5 memorable experiences in NYJC before I graduate.
11. At least 5 hours of personal time every week. It's good to find time and peace to do some reflections and the things I want.
12. At least one meetup for every single group of friends that I've been close with for the past 5 years.
13. Savings of at least $1000!
14. Have the courage to say 'yes' to everything, no matter what they may be.

I really hope that i'll be able to fulfil these resolutions by the end of the year. I need things like this in my life, indicators of whether I am heading towards the right direction, or straying away from the path. Sigh. I really hope to be happy this year. To be genuinely happy. With all the fake smiles and insincere encouragements cast aside.

There's only a year left, and I wanna make it count.

The days are long gone,
but when I hear that song,
it takes me back.