I just want me back. There's a stranger in my life, pretending to be me, and is trapped, and yet controlling my every single actions. Maybe the problem only lies in me, but not in others. Is it because i want to get used to the new environment in ZHSS? Or is it because of my weaknesses and my ignorance? Since this year, I've noticed that i have been the double-face type. But looking at this, is it for the better or the worse? To pretend to be nice to them, then take out a dagger to stab them hard on the back, or just kill them on the front? This year really changed my life, a new chapter and etc. Maybe I have become more vulgar than before, or is it because of others in the school. Maybe the seniors? I really dont know. To think that i can be able to adapt to the new choir, the new attitude they had and the way of teachers? Maybe Im just not that into choir.
To look so innocent is so easy, maybe that is the other part of me.. Forgive sounds good, but forgetting it is almost impossible. Is it because of you? When i met and we .. then you had to leave? You said you was sorry, but i can say that i wont believe you again like i did once more? People say that there is another side of me apart from school. Like sherwin, after we left SAJS, he noticed lots of change in me.. Just like esther, we met in june at HK Ocean Park. I think she is the ONLY one in ZHSS that notice the other side of me in HK. I can display my love for my family in HK, but why not in SG? Is it because of exterior reasons? Or is it because of me, that i show favorism between SG and HK?
People still liked the "ME" in term 1 better than now. That time was in competition period. But remembering the only difference is that from term 2, i changed maybe because of council. Others say, " With great power comes with great responsibility." With the council power, maybe that i did not have the sufficient responsibility. Maybe just being a maths rep is enough to be a good student in school. Not because I have some shitty council position. I am unable to take that position.
I wonder, the change in me, is it that complicated? Just trying to be cool to school but just to look like a fool? Because of that, others look at me maybe will be irritated and annoyed. As they know i might be faking it. Or is it that i am not satisfied with anything at all?! Just as much i hate to say this, but the MC that you seen in term 1 might died a long time ago. The stranger has become me, just as i become the stranger. Things change. And they might forever.
