To the guy that I've known for at least a year, and spent awesome times together. I hope that you'll still remember all those memories, even if they're about to fade away now.
I know that you might face a dilemma now. You might question yourself and think about the possible mistakes that you've made. But honestly, I would say that you've made mistakes, but not that significant that they'll lead to what happened today. You didn't do anything wrong, and I want you to know that it was never your fault. Blame it on my selfishness. Blame it all on me. Maybe I wanna run away from reality, but I guess that this would be a better option for both of us?
You asked why and I replied that I wasn't able to phrase my answers. If you ever read this blog, and I hope you will, I guess that you'll find the reasons here.
You had too many connections in my life. People might think that that is an extremely good reason why this should stay on. However, you're connected for all the wrong reasons. Do you still remember how I met you? It was through someone right? And we both know the reason why we would've met. Then, we became close friends as we communicated more over the holidays. But this wasn't the only connection you had. I was in love last year. And you know who I was in love with. Maybe it's because of jealousy? But I've always heard rumors about you two being together, and I've never believed in them. You two were good friends. That's all I had to say. Then, something bad happened during August. And I believe that you can still recall what happened? That incident was one of my main reasons for making this blog a private one, ever since it's first anniversary.
And then I met this person before the end-of-year examinations and started to study with her. You should know who is it and you should also know what happened. But I treated it like nothing had happened, because it didn't really involve me at that moment of time. However, as we transited into our packed Secondary 3 lives, you could tell that we were drifting quite far apart from one another. And then, BOOM! Something happened again this year. Something that I should've never done in February. Something that I should've have given to anybody at that moment of time. Trying to cover my tracks, I used you. You complained, but still gave in to me. For that, I offer my sincere appreciation. We still became close friends as the months flew past, until I was knocked hard by the fact that the girl I like might actually like you.
I might have never told you much about this this year, but I guess it's time to shed some light now eh? She's been avoiding me, ever since that February incident. She thinks that I stalk her, just because I tried to give her a birthday present. And now she claims that she is trying to protect herself from stalkers like me that had brought her harm to her mental well-being and life. This is also another sign of jealousy. I don't know why, but whenever I think of her, the next person that comes to my mind is you. And things were expected to head this way, but it's just that I didn't want it to occur at all..
Next, have you ever regarded me as a good friend? I hope you know that ever since I met you, I've always treated you like the present that I've given you on both of our birthdays. Thank you for all the encouragements and advices that you've given me throughout the months, but I keep having this feeling that you just treat me something lesser than a friend, like you've been avoiding me. Maybe those are just my feelings, but it really sucks when you treat someone as an extremely good friend but get something lesser as a friend in return right? I know that we had awesome times together, such as the Teacher's Day celebrations and the OBS camp, as well as the heart-to-heart talks that we had. However, those talks that we had, most of them were solely about me, and not about you. This is one of the reasons why I think this way..
Moving on, you kinda betrayed me. Ever since you've stepped up as an EXCO member. I know that this might be inappropriate to post this kind of stuff in blogs, but I thought that EXCO members were assholes. I thought, maybe if you became one, you would change my perspective. Many of my close friends crumbled because they became an EXCO, and unfortunately, you were one of them too. I told you my CCA stuff, and I know that I should be thankful that you've offered my generous advices and help in those areas, but you told them, during the council interviews. Maybe it was just a slip, but it was all it took to destroy my trust in you. I nearly told you everything, and this really led me to doubt whether you've ever told what I've confided in you to anyone else.
I know that it may seem a little childish that I'm doing all this online. I know that you might want to talk to me personally, but I hope you won't. I hope that all your questions would be answered in this post.
Other than that, you were an extremely good friend to me. You've entirely deserved the present that I gave you. I hope that even if we both disagree/agree to this, I hope that you'll be able to move on and continue to strive with your fullest potential and live your life just the way it was before.
For me, I would try to move on, but please do not worry about this anymore. It's been a fun yet crazy ride with you. And I guess it's time that I depart from the train and move on with my life, just like the times when I've never met you.
So for the first time, and for the last time,
Here comes goodbye.
I wish you all the best for your future endeavors.
- Your kid that fell from some bird.
Thanks for guiding and teaching me invaluable/valuable lessons and characteristics during this fun and crazy ride together.
