Dear friend,
I would do anything I can, just to rewind time back to when we would chat almost every night, on totally random and unrelated topics. I miss those times when we would encourage one another to not give up, to continue fighting in this relentless journey. But now, we don't meet up anymore. We don't even talk. I miss how we used to be friends. I miss our friendship. I miss you.
Tbh, I suck at maintaining friendships. I don't make the effort to keep up with the recent happenings in my friends' lives cos I feel that I'm bothering them. If I want to find out about how my friends are doing, I just wander around their Twitter accounts and such. If they're doing well, it lifts up my mood for the whole day. But if something bad happens, I get moody too. Haha. That's how I am. But if I see my friends doing the same stuff that we used to do together, but now with their new friends, I get affected. A lot. I'm not the only one right?
I know about the rumors. I did make an effort to stop them but it's not easy to shut people up completely. If only you're not bothered about them... But still, I'm sorry for putting you through all these. I'm aware of how uncomfortable you've felt but I chose not to comment on it, for fear of losing you. I tried all ways to keep this friendship going, so that we won't drift and all. Then it hit me. Perhaps, this is only one-sided. Maybe I'm the one who is constantly disturbing you and interrupting your life? Well, if that is so.. I've decided to stop what I'd been doing for the past few months. It's probably much too late to salvage. I promise to never bother you again.
Take care, friend. I wish you all the best.
Credits to Jia En for blogging this emotional post.
Sometimes I wish I didn't know your name. Sometimes I wish that I didn't take the first step to forge this friendship. And now, everything has changed. Bridges were burnt, and lessons were learnt. Maybe it was through this experience that made me change. I've chosen to learn on the fence instead of going to the other side. Sharing things and talking about anything under the sun became the past me. Sometimes, I wish that I could go back to that old kind of me. But it's too late now. I've learnt that expectations only lead to disappointment, not happiness.
Friendships that were supposed to last forever were long gone. I guess that's the reason why I've been choosing in believing in myself, and only myself, because I'm the only one who won't disappoint myself.
Maybe someday I'll start to believe in friendships again.
Who would be there at the end of the day?
Stop lying to yourself.
Comforting won't help.
