Am I asleep, no I'm alive.
Why am I over-thinking things way too much? I can't let these thoughts get the better of me. I've got to learn how to filter them, and ensure that they don't come out of my mouth or through the words that I type. I hate this part, honestly. Because I can never be absolutely honest with anyone without hurting them. I tried to be frank. I tried to bury my thoughts in somebody, but it backfired hard. I didn't mean to hurt you. But in the end you're still the one offended. Sigh. I gotta know where to draw the line, and when not to cross it. I've got this feeling that you're tolerating me. And you're about to reach your limit. My instincts tell me that I'm irritating someone. But hey, remember the last post? No suspicions/doubts about this friendship. That's what I'm gonna do. No worrying until the truth comes out. No fretting over things that may not be true. That's what I'm supposed to do. There's no point doing things that may ruin this friendship just like the past, when the goal was supposed to be not damaging the friendships at all. I have got to learn to get a grip of myself, especially my mind. Everything will be fine, I hope. It should be fine.
Anyway, putting those negative thoughts aside, Sunday has been great to me. Woke up early just to rush a couple of undone work, before mustering all of my courage to start a conversation with somebody. Even though it ended pretty well, it made me think. Am I going way too fast? Should I take things slower? I don't want this friendship to end just like the ones before it. If I take another step forward, it'll be do or die. But if I don't do anything, I'll just be leaning against the fence, with no benefits or disadvantages. Sigh. I just don't wanna be hurt again, but I'm head over heels over this person.
I guess I'll just leave this until after promos, maybe? It's only about 42 days more before the dreaded GP papers.
On a positive note, I've finally found the chocolate which I've been searching for for YEARS. It's been 5 years since I've last savored it. It was definitely a 15 dollars well spent as it reminded me of all the beautiful memories I had in Europe with the Singing Saints! I miss them, like being a part of musicals and participating in singing competitions. I miss these experiences, and the friendships I've fostered.
Moving on, I've got to manage my time more effectively. 42 days to promos and I'm still slacking. I need a wake up call. A failure in GP is not enough since I've already given up on it. Sigh. That reminds me. I'm supposed to complete an essay that is due tomorrow.
Bye folks!
You keep me moving forward.
