There was a side of you that I never knew.

Hello guys! I'm really sorry about the my blog's inactivity for the past few weeks. I did not have any inspiration to post anything, and my mind's been filled with many personal events. In addition, I'm seriously going bonkers with my Sec 4 life. I wonder how can my friends handle their homework load so efficiently? I'm barely keeping up with all my schoolwork. And some may say that I've been using my computer a bit too often recently, but I can't possibly focus on my work after a tiring day at school.

It's almost the end of January now, and I'm disappointed with myself in the ways that I've managed myself in the previous weeks. Sec 4 life, parents' forum and the competitiveness in my class - they're not exactly making me motivated to start studying/ revising for my work.

I've been practically failing all my HCL assignments that Jiang Lao Shi gave to the class. The only exception was my bao zhang, which barely made its grade. Sigh, and I've been spending a lot of time on the subject. I feel like drifting myself away from the subject, but I can't. Maybe that's because I wanna work harder on that subject to at least pass my O levels so that I can get my 2 bonus points! But it's pretty hard for me as my world in HCL is falling apart.

Also, my Chemistry. From my A1 standards dropping to an A2. That's not a joke. I can sense Ms Ong's disappointment in me, and I sat at the first row! Some of my friends got like 39.5/40, but I barely made an A2. That's pathetic right? Sigh, I really wanna work on my weaker subjects, but if I do so, I'll be neglecting my strengths. Guess that it's all about the balance eh?

Good news? My physics finally improved! I'm glad to say that I managed to jump back to my A2! Maybe that's because of my Physics tuition and Mr Tang! And I'm really satisfied with my marks now and will continue to strive for my A1!

AND FINALLY, EVER SINCE SEC 3 SEMESTER 2, I MANAGED TO UNDERSTAND MR LEE'S LESSONS FOR AMATHS! It feels like an achievement.. And I'll try not to owe Stella anymore homework for more than 2 weeks! Glad that I'm starting to cope up well with my Differentiation, even though I'm still relatively weaker in that topic as compared to people like Esmonde, Clarissa and Matthew..

I feel that I don't understand Biology any longer since the year started. I don't know why, but even if I try my best to pay attention to Mr Chong, I can't seem to understand his lessons! And the worst part? I don't even know what I don't understand, and there's a test this Thursday! I gotta work on the Eye and the Nervous System! It really requires some motivation to get the job done eh?

Moving on, my CCA. Life in choir has been pretty good with all the induction workshops etc. But I still feel framed in choir because my conductor has been picking on me recently, and I can't seem to find out what I've been singing wrongly because my mind tells me otherwise. ><. Anyway, it's glad to induct my juniors into choir! They're all so friendly, but some are acting a bit too spoiled for their age. Maybe that's because they aren't used to Secondary School life, but my patience is waning.

Life in Sec 4 is tough, but I'm not giving up, because I know that I'll be able to make it through. I don't know why, but it seems like when I reach out to my friends, the distance between us starts to widen ):. Maybe that's because I haven't been interacting with them since I entered Sec 3, so I plan to pull them back into my life as I endure my Sec 4 life ):. Besides, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be alive right now. 

So, I'm going to summarize what I had done in January :

- Celebrate Mr Goh's Birthday!

- Appointment of Monitors ( Yes, I'm still going to be defiant and not wear my tie (: )

- Parent's Forum

- Lunch with Friends!

- CNY Celebrations ( with 4e6 taking the crown for CNY decoration compeition )

- Overseas trip to Indonesia (:

- The loss of my E-dictionary and my water bottle ):

- Choir Induction Workshop

- CCA Open House

Btw, Carrie Underwood is gonna come back with a sizzling new single! Can't wait to hear it next month (:.

Well, that's all for today, and I can't really guarantee any more posts for this year! But I'll try to squeeze some time to make a proper post sometimes alright?

Maybe it's a good thing to sit beside girls.

Because they'll offer their opinions to me in whatever that I do (:

你痛了又痛,

我还是错了再错.

难道我是那么笨吗? ):

Got my middle finger up,
but I don't really give a fuck.

That was one of the best quotes made by Rihanna :D. Life can be disappointing at times, so we shouldn't really care too much about the stuff that's occasionally popping up to us. Sigh, I'm really sorry for breaking my promise to all of my readers ):. Really had the urge to blog, but I can't seem to squeeze any time for it..

Anyway, the first week of being Sec 4 has already emerged past. I guess it was kinda stressful for me? With stacks of homework and revision that're specially prepared for us and I had like 5 hours of sleep a day? Felt like fainting during choir ):. Need to offer my gratitude to Rowena and Joyce for taking care of their dear mother (^^)  and managing the choir.. Actually, I think that the volume of my voice has shrunk over the years in Zhonghua. Is it because I don't really like shouting anymore..? I'm not sure..

Oh yeah, time to introduce the teachers who will be guiding me throughout my entire Sec 4 life! I'm pretty contented about what I have, based on their teaching skills and of course, the other band's teacher.

English : Mr Lim Yong Khern ( was a tad upset that I didn't get Miss Crystal Ling, but I think he teaches the technical areas better than Miss Ling, even though she gives inspiration and massive chunks of vocabulary to the class each day.. )

E Maths : Miss Estee Teo ( WAS REALLY UPSET THAT MRS NG LEFT ):. I LOVED HER SO MUCH ):. Not bad, but I prefer her lessons without the use of the visualizer.. And she ensures that the students grasp the concepts well (: )

Amaths : Mr Lee Moh Choon ( Let bygones be bygones~. I think he's really awesome, as compared to Koh HS, but it's alright! Things will be more strict especially when we're at the senior level.. Will try to complete his homework.. )

Chemistry : Miss Ong Lay Hong ( I LOVE HER! I'm fine with both, actually.. But still, her lessons are really interesting and she never fails to crack a joke in class! I think my Chemistry did surprisingly well because of her.. )

Physics : Mr Lawrence Tang ( YAY! My Sec 1/2 teacher! My impression of him hasn't changed over the years! He's awesome :3. )

Biology : Mr Desmond Chong ( I think that he's fine, but Ms Rozi teaches a lil' better though :X. But he's making us do the Biology Journal ):. Anyway, he's really different in class as compared to the podium! Even though he's not as detailed, he still manages to let the students grasp the concepts well.. )

HCL : Mdm Jiang Ruifang ( I'm really happy that I got her, even though she tends to pile a tremendous load of homework on us :X. Well, she teaches really well and I'll be motivated to do my homework right? xD )

Social Studies : Miss Noraini ( I heard that she wasn't really a good teacher, but based on her first lesson in Sec 4, I feel that she teaches pretty well.. I hope things remain the same throughout this entire year (:. PS. She can teach English too! )

Geography Elective : Mrs Wong Check Siew ( She's awesome! One of the most experienced teachers in the humanities department. Her way of teaching is fantastic! (: )

And guess who's my mentor? Ms Noraini! Well, I wasn't really surprised, knowing that I did terribly for my combined Humanities and English. I really hope that she can save me as she obtained a Humanities degree as well as a degree in English :D.

Hmm, moving on, I think that things are getting a little bit ( more like extremely ) tense in my class. Well, we're just ordinary students, but teachers tend to discriminate us just because we take Triple Science >:(. Anyway, have been seeing lots of classmates studying in class during their free periods and that really bothers me because I barely started my revision.. And I've been seeing many people studying together after school too ):. Argh. I'm getting really stressed up now :X.

Anyway, guess who's sitting beside me? Adeline and Jue Ying! They're awesome people! (:. It's a first time for me sitting beside Adeline even though I've been with her for 2 years.. But she really concentrates in class and does all her homework. WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY NOT DO THEIR HOMEWORK IN TRIPLE SCIENCE? IT'S LIKE I'M THE NAUGHTIEST KID THERE. ):

I think I'm going to end my post now. My apologies for the abrupt ending ):. Bye (:

I cannot cry because I know that that's weakness in your eyes.
I'm forced to fake a laugh, a smile everyday of my life.
My heart can't possibly break,
when it wasn't whole to start with.