I.. I wanna stop the clocks tonight.
It's just fifty minutes away from the start of a new year. So, I'ma post this right now so that it wouldn't seem that I posted this late..
2012 had its ups and downs. There were moments when I really felt like giving up and let everything go. But hey, I am still here, standing. I managed to survive all the drama and the events that have occurred this year. But all in all, it has been a great year! Got to know many people, like Adeline, Keandra, Sarah etc, at a much deeper level, although it's still sad to see so many people leaving my life. Oh well. I guess there were some mistakes made. But I still have to face the fact that we'll be saying our last goodbyes when we collect our 'O' level results and begin our next chapter of our education.
This year has passed in a flash, at least for me. Maybe it was all the mugging for 'O's, or the many regretful moments that I had. Sleep started to feel a little too short for me, even though I managed to sleep for at least 4 hours on a regular school day! Well, I remember settling the Open House, even though it didn't quite meet up to my expectations because we couldn't exactly attract many juniors to join, or that our performance was horrendous due to the 'work shifts' that we made. But it was still fun, seeing all my classmates and friends doing their respective duties in their CCAs, except for the Council. I don't know why, but after 4 years in ZH, I still kinda despise this organization. And whenever someone becomes a prefect, I would always tend to be a bit unfair to them, especially in choir. Oh well..
Sigh. Even though I usually rant about the facilities that Zhonghua has, I can't bear to leave. The teachers are great and friendly! They seriously work their ass off for us, and I appreciate that. If there's any teachers reading this if I make my blog public for my annual dedications, thank you for being such wonderful mentors. I still remember Miss Lim U-Shan saying that the 4 years in secondary school would zoom past us. And when I was Sec 1 then, I remember staring at her in disbelief. But now, all I can say is, " As was foretold. " I recall sitting next to Xin Yi at the start of the year. She was my first female neighbour in class, as I came from an all-boys primary school. And yeah, the rumors were right. She was my first real crush. I still remember doing really silly stuff like putting my heart out in presents and asking her out. Ah. It was a beautiful past. Not because she was my girlfriend, because she wasn't. But it was the moment of chasing someone. Haha. Looking at it, all I can do now is smile and be glad that she still is one of the closest friends that I'll ever have, despite having a crush on her once.
I remember having bus-rides home with Clare, aka the Curly-Haired girl. Even though my first impressions of her came from her hairstyle, she initially started to irk me as I thought that she was arrogant. Well, if you tell this to her, she'll understand, knowing what she did to me in Sec 1. But nevertheless, we became close friends. We used to talk about everything under the sun. Results, friends, objects, weather and people. And she seemed so positive in virtually everything! She has been a great listener, and most importantly, a wonderful friend (:.
Then there was Shazwani, who became my first faithful neighbour. I remember writing paper notes to her all day long and during every lesson. She would usually talk to me about music stuff and perhaps about band while I tell her about my choir stuff. She's awesome! I remember us copying each other's homework when we were too lazy to do them the night before, which happened nearly every day xD.
And when I shifted places to sit next to Shaz, Chang Jie came into the picture as well, becoming my second faithful neighbour! He's a good and decent kiddo who always did his homework and would stay focused during lessons. I admire his positivity and optimism in everything that he does! Our friendship became deeper when we played dota together with Javier and all, AND NOW, HE'S MY BEST GUY FRIEND, even if he doesn't notice it..
There was Gracia (my best female friend) too! She was-and-still-is awesome! I remember the all-night long calls that I would make, telling her every secret and emotion that I bottled up in my heart during the day or the week. She knows everything about me. Oh, and most importantly, the countless paper notes that we send during class! I still keep them, both from Shaz and Gracia (:, in a container because they remind me of the fun times I had in Sec 1 and 2! (:.
Well, these are my friends that I'm closest with, at least right from where it all began. They all managed to change a part of me for the better and have stood by my side no matter what I did or had done.. I know that I have many others to thank, and so I am deciding to do an annual dedications once again as mentioned earlier!
Anyway, I'm now sitting on a couch typing this post while sipping a glass of hot green tea, waiting for the countdown to begin. It's only 8 more minutes to a new year, a brand new beginning. No matter what sins or mistakes that we've committed, it'll all be undone this year. I hope everyone will be able to move on from their past, and enjoy the present that each of us have right now. To a new start, a year of happiness and bliss. To a new chapter, a year of new beginnings.
And now, while raising my green tea as if it's my glass of champagne, I would like to wish everyone a blessed happy new year and all the best to the future that awaits us (:.
Cheers to the new year! (:
I don't want this night to end.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Hello, wherever you are.
Because all that matters is the beautiful life.
Maybe I should step back. It's much easier not knowing stuff that you aren't supposed to know. Secrets, rumors and all the bullshit that shrouds our life. Because once you know them, you'll be curious and have this tinge of urgency igniting within you to find out more. Even if you are surrounded by a pack of white lies, or even lies, at least you'll be happy. even if that means that you're delusional. There won't be any worrying involved, or thinking about what others may think of you. Perhaps that's the mistake I've committed throughout my entire secondary school life. I've been too involved with my surroundings and the drama that I've lost myself halfway. I'm just not me anymore. They say that change is the only constant, but I want a part of me that will never be taken away from me. I've made too many mistakes this year. Grave ones indeed. Ranging from doing an unforgivable act to caring so much for a friend and being met with disappointment in the end when you find out that he doesn't give a shit about you and feel embarrassed hanging out with me. I'm really exhausted from being nice, extending a helping hand to others. So all that I'm wanting for Christmas is just a fresh start. I know that I'll be having one soon as I'll begin the next chapter of my life upon receiving my results.. But I really hope that my personality will recover back to the way it was. I am really praying that I'll be more self-centered and start picking my friends correctly. To Clare, Adeline, Gracia, Hui Fang, Rowena, Joyce, Yi Jie, Ikhmah, Rebecca, Jue Ying, Xin Yi and Chang Jie, I am truly blessed to be friends with you all. We may have disagreements at times, but I know you care for me, as much as I care for you guys. I know I've made grave mistakes in the past, but you guys were there for me no matter what. All of you still hanged out with me, and treated me as a true friend. I'll never forget you guys (:
And now I'm praying that my mistakes didn't cost me too much. I hope that my results allow me to enter the JC of my desired choice. So that I'll be able to start anew and just be myself in the next two years of my education. I know I've let some friendships slip past this year, but honestly thinking about it, I wouldn't have made a single change to those events because they weren't my true friends. I no longer care about the quantity of friends, but the quality of them. As long as I have people supporting me all the way, and lending me a shoulder to lean on in case I stumble along the way, I'm content. I'm satisfied with friends that are happy to treat me as their good friend too, unlike others.. Oh, and I wish that I'm easily contented. Just like Clare. This is the point that I've always admired about her. It's not about expectations, about wanting people to give you things that you actually wish for, but about the little things that people remember and put their heart and soul in whatever that they're giving you.
Don't give promises you can't keep.
When I thought that you were my greatest friend,
I was hit hard in the head.
“It's much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and than make the choice to share it with other people. You can't just sit their and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn't do or what they didn't know. I don't know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. It's just different. Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it's okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. I feel infinite.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Maybe I should step back. It's much easier not knowing stuff that you aren't supposed to know. Secrets, rumors and all the bullshit that shrouds our life. Because once you know them, you'll be curious and have this tinge of urgency igniting within you to find out more. Even if you are surrounded by a pack of white lies, or even lies, at least you'll be happy. even if that means that you're delusional. There won't be any worrying involved, or thinking about what others may think of you. Perhaps that's the mistake I've committed throughout my entire secondary school life. I've been too involved with my surroundings and the drama that I've lost myself halfway. I'm just not me anymore. They say that change is the only constant, but I want a part of me that will never be taken away from me. I've made too many mistakes this year. Grave ones indeed. Ranging from doing an unforgivable act to caring so much for a friend and being met with disappointment in the end when you find out that he doesn't give a shit about you and feel embarrassed hanging out with me. I'm really exhausted from being nice, extending a helping hand to others. So all that I'm wanting for Christmas is just a fresh start. I know that I'll be having one soon as I'll begin the next chapter of my life upon receiving my results.. But I really hope that my personality will recover back to the way it was. I am really praying that I'll be more self-centered and start picking my friends correctly. To Clare, Adeline, Gracia, Hui Fang, Rowena, Joyce, Yi Jie, Ikhmah, Rebecca, Jue Ying, Xin Yi and Chang Jie, I am truly blessed to be friends with you all. We may have disagreements at times, but I know you care for me, as much as I care for you guys. I know I've made grave mistakes in the past, but you guys were there for me no matter what. All of you still hanged out with me, and treated me as a true friend. I'll never forget you guys (:
And now I'm praying that my mistakes didn't cost me too much. I hope that my results allow me to enter the JC of my desired choice. So that I'll be able to start anew and just be myself in the next two years of my education. I know I've let some friendships slip past this year, but honestly thinking about it, I wouldn't have made a single change to those events because they weren't my true friends. I no longer care about the quantity of friends, but the quality of them. As long as I have people supporting me all the way, and lending me a shoulder to lean on in case I stumble along the way, I'm content. I'm satisfied with friends that are happy to treat me as their good friend too, unlike others.. Oh, and I wish that I'm easily contented. Just like Clare. This is the point that I've always admired about her. It's not about expectations, about wanting people to give you things that you actually wish for, but about the little things that people remember and put their heart and soul in whatever that they're giving you.
Don't give promises you can't keep.
When I thought that you were my greatest friend,
I was hit hard in the head.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Dum Dum Diddy.
And I miss you everyday,
but there's nothing left to say.
It's been a while since I last posted a picture in my blog. I'm loving Leona on her new record, "Glassheart". I think that it's a huge improvement from "Echo". Currently addicted to the ballads in the album..
Anyway, I think I'm falling more deeply in love with British pop! It was perhaps just Leona Lewis at first, and there came the Wanted as well as Rita Ora and Jessie J. Oh, and Adele too! British ballads are so much more emotional than the American ones in general these days.. Ah. Listening to Leona Lewis' "Lovebird" and falling in love with it even more with each passing second!
Moving on, HK has been great! Managed to visit Yuen Long for the wife's cakes as well as the renowned Snow Ice shop there (:. Oishi! Simply delectable! But the process of finding the shops were gruesome and had to depend heavily on GPS and Google Map to navigate myself around. thank god for data plan (:. The monthly plan is quite cheap here, definitely affordable for me!
Went to a nearby shopping centre to shop. Had this urge to purchase gifts but resisted. And now I'm regretting it! There's this toy that I've been wanting to get for someone and I can't seem to spot it anywhere else. Looks like I've to go back and get it ):. But it's really cool! It's something like an updated version of the Neocube..
Visited Tsim Sha Tsui the next day. Nothing has changed there, apart from the shops! It is still one of the most crowded places in HK (:. And finally, I've managed to grab a bite of one of HK's delicacies after days of searching - the renowned Egg cupcake (copied from a street stall that displayed its English name). It's sold in Singapore too, but they're not comparable to the ones here! And then I've visited one of the most famous dessert shops in town to have a taste of my favorite dessert - Mango sago served with Pomelo, a dash of coconut juice and a scoop of mango ice cream right on the centre of the bowl (:. Headed to the nearby shopping centreS ( 's' is capitalized for a reason ) and found my feet aching after 5 hours of walking around without any rest. Visited the 'Mark&Spencer' outlet next and little did I know that they actually sell food products too (:. Spent about S$50 buying Christmas gifts for my friends in Singapore on shortbread and chocolates (:.
Proceeded to the Ferry Pier to have dinner with my entire family before heading home! The food was mediocre for me, especially when they were being served by the restaurant. Managed to catch up with my cousins and teased my female cousin A LOT because of her height ^^. Teehee!
Ah. I miss Singapore's food. I miss all of the local delicacies like our famous Chicken rice etc. OH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I MISS THE CHILLI THERE ):. It's sweet and really spicy there, unlike the salty and mild chillis here ):. Oh well. Gotta suck it all up. But the food here's really good too (:.
Gotta go now. Sorry for the abrupt post once more. Bye (:
No match for your fingerprint.
No substitute, no other you.
'Cause there can only be one.
but there's nothing left to say.
It's been a while since I last posted a picture in my blog. I'm loving Leona on her new record, "Glassheart". I think that it's a huge improvement from "Echo". Currently addicted to the ballads in the album..
Anyway, I think I'm falling more deeply in love with British pop! It was perhaps just Leona Lewis at first, and there came the Wanted as well as Rita Ora and Jessie J. Oh, and Adele too! British ballads are so much more emotional than the American ones in general these days.. Ah. Listening to Leona Lewis' "Lovebird" and falling in love with it even more with each passing second!
Moving on, HK has been great! Managed to visit Yuen Long for the wife's cakes as well as the renowned Snow Ice shop there (:. Oishi! Simply delectable! But the process of finding the shops were gruesome and had to depend heavily on GPS and Google Map to navigate myself around. thank god for data plan (:. The monthly plan is quite cheap here, definitely affordable for me!
Went to a nearby shopping centre to shop. Had this urge to purchase gifts but resisted. And now I'm regretting it! There's this toy that I've been wanting to get for someone and I can't seem to spot it anywhere else. Looks like I've to go back and get it ):. But it's really cool! It's something like an updated version of the Neocube..
Visited Tsim Sha Tsui the next day. Nothing has changed there, apart from the shops! It is still one of the most crowded places in HK (:. And finally, I've managed to grab a bite of one of HK's delicacies after days of searching - the renowned Egg cupcake (copied from a street stall that displayed its English name). It's sold in Singapore too, but they're not comparable to the ones here! And then I've visited one of the most famous dessert shops in town to have a taste of my favorite dessert - Mango sago served with Pomelo, a dash of coconut juice and a scoop of mango ice cream right on the centre of the bowl (:. Headed to the nearby shopping centreS ( 's' is capitalized for a reason ) and found my feet aching after 5 hours of walking around without any rest. Visited the 'Mark&Spencer' outlet next and little did I know that they actually sell food products too (:. Spent about S$50 buying Christmas gifts for my friends in Singapore on shortbread and chocolates (:.
Proceeded to the Ferry Pier to have dinner with my entire family before heading home! The food was mediocre for me, especially when they were being served by the restaurant. Managed to catch up with my cousins and teased my female cousin A LOT because of her height ^^. Teehee!
Ah. I miss Singapore's food. I miss all of the local delicacies like our famous Chicken rice etc. OH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I MISS THE CHILLI THERE ):. It's sweet and really spicy there, unlike the salty and mild chillis here ):. Oh well. Gotta suck it all up. But the food here's really good too (:.
Gotta go now. Sorry for the abrupt post once more. Bye (:
No match for your fingerprint.
No substitute, no other you.
'Cause there can only be one.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Warrior.
I just want my friend back.
It's a shame. I've manged to destroy a perfectly fine friendship. I remember your little attempts to cheer me up regardless of whether I was down or not. You were like a star, shining brightly. Maybe I should have held back. I was trapped in my own world of confusion. I wasn't mature enough to handle such emotions. Your morning texts. They were the ones which usually made my day. You understood me, even to the extent of knowing me better than most of my close friends. It's a pity that things had to turn out this way. It was my fault to begin with, and I deserve everything that has had happened. I've tried ways to overcome, but they all failed. Tried to trick myself that I was over you, but I wasn't. Because whenever my mind was unoccupied, images and thoughts of you would always dart into it. I tried to apologize, but I'm always not myself whenever I tried communicating with you. I don't know why, but I usually mutter the wrong things on impulse. Maybe you were right to give up on me. You no longer give a fuck about me anyway.
Let me start off the post with the recently announced Grammy nominations! I am quite contented with the list because I think the nominees deserved them. Carrie scored two nods in the country categories ( Best country song, best solo country performance for "Blown Away" ). Kelly Clarkson scored 4 nods ( Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Best Solo Pop Performance for 'Stronger(What Doesn't Kill You) as well as Best Pop Vocal Album for "Stronger"). Rihanna had 3 nods ( Best Solo Pop Performance for "Where Have You Been", Best Rap/Sung collaboration for "Talk that Talk" and Best Short Form Music Video for "We Found Love") Oh, and Taylor Swift managed to score a few nods as well! But it was a little sad that they weren't exactly in the country category. Looks like the Grammy committee has agreed that she belonged to pop now, and it's a good thing. I like her new style (:. I know that she clinched a nod for Record/Song of the Year and that is quite a feat.
Moving on, Ke$ha's new album, "Warrior", is out in stores now! I really can't wait to get my hands on it! I've listened to every track in the album and I've fallen in love with every single one of them! For me, "Warrior" and "Supernatural" are the two standout songs of the album. Maybe it's because of my relation with the lyrics, or their catchy choruses! Ke$ha has seriously stepped up her game and blown me away.
Anyway, HK's been pretty good to me! Went to Disneyland with Esther and also went to China for 5 days to visit my jia xiang and it was pretty cool! Managed to witness a wedding and taste good food! I miss the roast goose there ):. It's much more delicious than the ones here in HK ):. I've been having a craving for egg tarts recently. The pastry is AMAZING. I don't mind eating the pastry alone without the huge yellow part. Tried the famous polo bun in Mong Kok and it was wonderful. How can a bun be fluffy and crispy at the same time? (:. Despite indulging myself with amazing food, I've yet to visit more places in HK! I still need to go to Kowloon City to eat some of the street-stall food there, and maybe Yuen Long for their famous Wife Cakes!
Gah. So much food, yet so little time ):. I hope that I'll be able to fulfil my wishes that I've made for this HK trip before I fly back home.. Speaking of home, I'm feeling a little nervous about my results. What if they don't meet my expectations? What if I really did screw up? I'm hoping that I'll be able to do well so that I'll be able to enter SAJC and start the next chapter of my life without any regrets..
Let's just put that aside eh? I should be enjoying my holidays. I'm finding peace here, and it's great! Gotta start writing Christmas cards and posting them to my close friends REALLY soon! I'm hoping that they'll receive before the actual day or at most, on the day itself! So I gotta start putting on my thinking cap and recall all the pleasant memories that they've given me (:.
Anyway, I'm gonna post one of my favorite tracks from Christina Aguilera's newly-released "Lotus"!
I gotta go now :X. Sorry for the abrupt ending once more. Bye!
And now I'm finally over you,
I'm now set free.
It's a shame. I've manged to destroy a perfectly fine friendship. I remember your little attempts to cheer me up regardless of whether I was down or not. You were like a star, shining brightly. Maybe I should have held back. I was trapped in my own world of confusion. I wasn't mature enough to handle such emotions. Your morning texts. They were the ones which usually made my day. You understood me, even to the extent of knowing me better than most of my close friends. It's a pity that things had to turn out this way. It was my fault to begin with, and I deserve everything that has had happened. I've tried ways to overcome, but they all failed. Tried to trick myself that I was over you, but I wasn't. Because whenever my mind was unoccupied, images and thoughts of you would always dart into it. I tried to apologize, but I'm always not myself whenever I tried communicating with you. I don't know why, but I usually mutter the wrong things on impulse. Maybe you were right to give up on me. You no longer give a fuck about me anyway.
Let me start off the post with the recently announced Grammy nominations! I am quite contented with the list because I think the nominees deserved them. Carrie scored two nods in the country categories ( Best country song, best solo country performance for "Blown Away" ). Kelly Clarkson scored 4 nods ( Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Best Solo Pop Performance for 'Stronger(What Doesn't Kill You) as well as Best Pop Vocal Album for "Stronger"). Rihanna had 3 nods ( Best Solo Pop Performance for "Where Have You Been", Best Rap/Sung collaboration for "Talk that Talk" and Best Short Form Music Video for "We Found Love") Oh, and Taylor Swift managed to score a few nods as well! But it was a little sad that they weren't exactly in the country category. Looks like the Grammy committee has agreed that she belonged to pop now, and it's a good thing. I like her new style (:. I know that she clinched a nod for Record/Song of the Year and that is quite a feat.
Moving on, Ke$ha's new album, "Warrior", is out in stores now! I really can't wait to get my hands on it! I've listened to every track in the album and I've fallen in love with every single one of them! For me, "Warrior" and "Supernatural" are the two standout songs of the album. Maybe it's because of my relation with the lyrics, or their catchy choruses! Ke$ha has seriously stepped up her game and blown me away.
Anyway, HK's been pretty good to me! Went to Disneyland with Esther and also went to China for 5 days to visit my jia xiang and it was pretty cool! Managed to witness a wedding and taste good food! I miss the roast goose there ):. It's much more delicious than the ones here in HK ):. I've been having a craving for egg tarts recently. The pastry is AMAZING. I don't mind eating the pastry alone without the huge yellow part. Tried the famous polo bun in Mong Kok and it was wonderful. How can a bun be fluffy and crispy at the same time? (:. Despite indulging myself with amazing food, I've yet to visit more places in HK! I still need to go to Kowloon City to eat some of the street-stall food there, and maybe Yuen Long for their famous Wife Cakes!
Gah. So much food, yet so little time ):. I hope that I'll be able to fulfil my wishes that I've made for this HK trip before I fly back home.. Speaking of home, I'm feeling a little nervous about my results. What if they don't meet my expectations? What if I really did screw up? I'm hoping that I'll be able to do well so that I'll be able to enter SAJC and start the next chapter of my life without any regrets..
Let's just put that aside eh? I should be enjoying my holidays. I'm finding peace here, and it's great! Gotta start writing Christmas cards and posting them to my close friends REALLY soon! I'm hoping that they'll receive before the actual day or at most, on the day itself! So I gotta start putting on my thinking cap and recall all the pleasant memories that they've given me (:.
Anyway, I'm gonna post one of my favorite tracks from Christina Aguilera's newly-released "Lotus"!
I gotta go now :X. Sorry for the abrupt ending once more. Bye!
And now I'm finally over you,
I'm now set free.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
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