Someday you'll see the reason why.

It's just a day away from the album's official release. I'm planning to head down to HMV / Popular to get myself a copy of the Queen of Country's latest album. Replayed her exclusive stream at iTunes countless times and I still get the chills whenever I hear a few of her songs. I'm delighted to know that she's returning back to her country roots - the very voice that made her famous and crowned her the only solo female country artist with a #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. I absolutely LOVE the ballads in her album. And so, to celebrate the official release date, I've recently changed the blog song to one of my personal favorites in the album. It's lyrics are meaningful and can be related to me in many ways.

To be honest, I teared when I heard it for the first time. Even though I've already passed the 15th year of my life, I haven't learnt to let go of the things that are precious to me, even when they're already gone. Maybe Carrie's right, someday I'll see the reason why. But right now, I'm still stuck wondering why I'm flying on a ship that's sinking down. Yup, that quote came from 'Wheel of the World' - one of my favorite songs on 'Carnival Ride'. I guess that some things will be forever changed eh?

Another weekend had come and gone just like the others, without me doing anything meaningful to it except for having lots of sleep to pay off my sleep debt. For the past week, I was disappointed in myself. Disappointed in the ways that I handle things, handle my own time, and most importantly, my results. It was extremely demoralizing. I mean, even though it's an A1, but I'm still not satisfied. I'm below average in my class and that's unacceptable ):. I've tried to work hard for it and paid my utmost attention to my subject teachers.. But still, since it's an A1, I'll still have a valid reason to purchase 'Blown Away' on Tuesday (:.

I hope that this week will be a productive one for me, since there's Labor Day Holiday on Tuesday and Vesak Day Holiday next Monday. I plan to focus on my 3 Sciences and Languages, since my standard has been dropping tremendously..

Moving on, I'll be making a few changes to my blog this week. I'm planning to start on my Reader's list first. I've realized over time that I don't want certain people from reading my blog ( not because I despise them, but because this blog contains a lot of personal stuff. ). And I may remove the tag board because it hardly get tags anymore, so it might be a waste of space in my blog. And lastly, I might find another blog skin again (:. It's been ages since I've last done that.

To end this post, I would like to post a picture of my idol here once more <3. She'll always be remembered by the Carebears!

Alright, I've gotta go now. Bye (:.

It was bittersweet.
But I can't move on.
Maybe it's best not to get what I deserve.

And I'm going to try to hold it all in.
Try to hold back my tears,
so it don't make you stay here.
I'mma try to be a big girl now,
cause I don't want to be the reason you don't leave.

-Rihanna.

Why do you have to be so blind.

HCL Timed Practice tomorrow! I hope that I'm prepared for it.. I'm still struggling with my 事件/背景. Sigh. I hope that things will get better in time.

Wanted to study in school today, but I've decided to go home and rest instead. Managed to play a few games with Randy and completed my entire revision on 实用文. Well, I didn't really study much for my compositions as I believe that the points in the former will be quite similar to the latter.. 

Moving on, today was ordinary, nothing much of an extraordinary. Same old problems and thoughts surging into my brain. Maybe the people in E6 aren't really worth my attention anymore. Just feeling this way because of some incidents that I had caused and I feel that they're a little petty, if you all get what I mean. But it seems that you all clearly don't.

Hmm. I ain't exactly pointing my finger to everyone in E6, but only a few, especially those who are sitting near me. I'm starting to agree with the fact that the friendships that we'd made in our lower secondary life will be the ones that'll last forever. Come on, look at my lower secondary classes. My classmates hardly bear grudges towards one another, but the conflicts are solved in the end. Looks like I can only trust those who came to this class with me )"

I'm sick and tired of your poker face. I should've known that you have a dark side. I can't believe that even the first friend that I've made in E6 is treating me like this. Well, FML eh?

Anyway, I'm a bit confused with Biology lessons nowadays. Can't seem to understand the Menstrual Cycle ):. And the DNA stuff that we're learning now is seriously giving me the chills.. Ahh. Got to start working hard on my other subjects! Can feel that my standard in all the sciences that I'm taking now is dropping.

All the best to those who are having their examinations tomorrow, especially my cohort mates and Sec 2 juniors! (:

Two steps ahead and staying on guard.

Every lesson forms a new scar.

The moment of impact. The moment of impact proves potential for change. Has ripples effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before. While sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you've never thought you've found them. That's the thing about moments like these. You can't, no matter how hard you try, controlling how it's gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding part goes where they may. And wait. For the next collision.

- The Vow


How I wished that time can rewind and that I could redo all the things that I did.
Sigh, I guess it's all over now.
We're not even making any eye contact now.

As I wrote my testimonial just now, it dawned to me that these 3 years had passed me by so quickly. And the last one seems to be flying past us.

You make me feel good.

You make me feel safe.

You make me feel like I could live another day.

I wished that I could deliver these sentences to a particular person. It's a shame that I'm unable to gather my courage and overcome my shyness. Anyway, I've been busy with work ( more like playing xD ) over the entire month. 

Stepped down from Choir on the second week of April. I felt numb. Completely numb. My initial excitement of stepping down was soon siphoned out upon delivering my final speech as the President. Well, I can't believe that time has already passed us so quickly! I still can vividly recall the very day when I auditioned for the choir. I was slightly nervous about the pitching part, and Mr Ong was definitely trying to know more about my range. Anyway, I sang " For the Beauty Of The Earth " for the song part ( as it was one of the songs that I've covered when I was in the Singing Saints ). And I still remember Charlotte was cheering once I've finished my song. And then I went for the CO auditions. I was successful in it as well. Out of the two CCAs, I've picked choir. Maybe that was because I had this glimpse of hope, hoping that I would be able to make a difference in choir from the very first day I've stepped into it. It's hard to tell whether I was successful in my mission, but I had an enjoyable time in choir. 

And then we were flooded with all the common tests and stuff. I am glad to say that I've managed to improve in most of my subjects, including Geography - despite the fact that I still failed it terribly. But I felt accomplished, and it was then when I decided that I should reward myself with Nicki Minaj's new album. And I must say, it's an awesome album. There's hardly any obscenity suggested in the lyrics, except for a couple of vulgarities used as a casual slang.

I'm starting to feel the pressure of the 'O' levels now. However, I do not regret the time that I've wasted over the past few weeks. Screwed up my first study plan as I was behind time for about a week? So I made another one and submitted it to Ms Noraini! It's relieving to know that I've managed to follow it.

Moving on, NAPFA test. It was no surprise failing Pull Ups, but I managed to pass the rest, including Shuttle Run! Went out with Adeline and Clare afterwards to watch 'The Vow". Are you reading this, Randy? This is the 3rd time that you've rejected my offer to hang out xD. Oh, and I had to treat Adeline to a meal because I said that I was going to fail Biology but I received an A2 surprisingly (:. It's a pity that I was just half a mark away from my one-pointer ):. 

Well, I guess that's the end of my post today. Sorry for the abrupt ending.

Maybe Adeline was right.

I'm just thinking too much.